Post # 1
My maid of honor is in a relationship with a guy that has two young children. I figured I would give the guy an invitation but had no intention of inviting his kids. My MOH and her bf will have to travel 8+ hours to come to the wedding. When talking about wedding plans it seemed as if my MOH assumed they all would be going. Is it wrong to not include the children that I haven’t met and don’t know how they act in public?
Post # 2
meshort2: Are you inviting the children of other couples?
You have a right to have a child free wedding if you want, but it is important that the line be drawn consistently. If you are extending an invitation to other childrem then they should be included.
Normally if out of town children are not invited, parents have the option to leave them at home, arrange for a sitter at the wedding location or decline the invitation.
Given that she is your MOH, I doubt that you want her to decline the invitation. If she is not comfortable with the other two options though, you would leave her with no choice.
Post # 3
meshort2: if you are inviting children of other couples than yes. Otherwise its insulting not to include them. You can’t pick and choose which kids can come, its rude.
If you are not having kids at the wedding other than a FG&RB, than no, you don’t have to invite them.
Post # 4
While you don’t “have” to invite the kids, be prepared for a whole lot of backlash on your decision not to. If the couple is traveling 8+ hours to attend, and the kids are not old enough to stay home on their own, it certainly makes things very complicated for your MoH. As MoH, she is supposed to be one of your most important friends, and she could also take this as a slight that you are not interested in meeting her potential blended family members, should things with her boyfriend progress. Be flexible and understanding, and it might be a good idea to offer to help her find qualified child care in your area, or possibly even hire a babysitter to look after the kids actually at the reception site (rather than a babysitter who watches them in a hotel room nearby).
I don’t have kids but if I was dating someone who did, and I was invited with him to a wedding that took 8 hours travel to attend, I’d probably be pretty ticked off that the kids were not welcome. Especially if it were in a town where I didn’t know many people and couldn’t find a babysitter I trusted.
Post # 5
You don’t have to invite them….but she’s travelling 8+ hours, has to stay overnight, she’s your MOH, and she can’t decline to attend.
I don’t know her financial situation or the age of the children, but you might be putting your MOH in a very difficult position. Just talk to her and work something out privately! May you can find and pay for a babysitter with good references? These might not be her children but she has some responsbility towards them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm
Maybe hire a sitter for the kids? She is the MOH so perhaps you can go a bit further for her than you would the average guest. I understand no kids at the wedding. The FI and I are doing that. I would talk to her.
Post # 7
meshort2: They are HIS children, and you’ve never met them? Let them stay home with their mother. This is your right, and not rude in any way.
Post # 8
Kitty79: Agreed… if they were her Children I’d say invite them. But I’m sure their mother will enjoy having them and Dad will enjoy a weekend away to enjoy your wedding!
Post # 9
Do the kids live with the couple? Or does he only see them every other weekend and for two weeks in the summer kinda thing? I would tread carefully. There’s always backlash when you don’t let the children come!
Post # 10
meshort2: Just because they’re all traveling doesn’t mean they are all attending the wedding. Just make clear your no kids policy. They Will hace to sort it out themselves.