Post # 1
Curious as to if I have to invite a certain coworker to our weddiing. (Granted, I know I don’t “have” to invite anyone). We have an owner, two VP’s underneath that – I report to both in various ways – and then there are a bunch of us who would be considered equals.
The owner and one of the VP’s I definitely want to invite, as I’ve known them forever. Out of the “equals” 5 of them I have known for about 10 years, and was planning on inviting before I even started working with them.
My dilemma is the other VP – she’s disliked by just about everyone, and has recently started being less than nice to me. (Let’s just say I’m trying to be really PC here). This VP has pretty muched asked/invited herself to the wedding, which I was fine with until some recent drama occurred. She had told me at one point that “if I had to cut someone she’d understand”, but I don’t know if people really mean it when they say that.
Now, the wedding is not for 5 more months, and invites have NOT been sent. (Co-workers did not receive the save the dates either). Do I have to invite this person? The drama that has me not wanting this person there is not the type of thing that will blowover before then. I do worry that she’ll retaliate and I’ll have to worry about my job if I invite her, but seeing her in the audience will make me miserable. Thoughts?
Post # 3
This is such a terrible situation… how big is your wedding? Is it big enough that you could go through the entire time without seeing/needing to speak with the disliked VP? To me it sounds like you’re stuck. Perhaps “disliked VP” will decline the invite?
Post # 4
Is there any way that you can invite the other people and they won’t tell the annoying VP? It’s pretty dicey inviting most people from a small office but not all unless you know that they won’t tell her.
Post # 5
Hmm, this is a tough one. If you don’t invite her, how will this affect your working relationship? Are you planning on staying at this job for a while and moving up in the ranks, or is this a temporary job you don’t really care about? Would she have a say in whether you are fired, promoted, etc? You say your wedding is not for another 5 months– why don’t you wait another 3 months and re-evaluate your relationship at that point? Who knows, a lot can happen in that time and this may end up being a moot point anyway. If nothing changes, then I would base my decision on how she could affect my position at the company (assuming that matters to you.) On your wedding day you will be so busy anyway and will be spending like 5 minutes top with each guest. Good luck with whatever you decide!
Post # 6
That’s a tough one….however, IMO if the office is a small one…your best option would be to invite her. We know mgr’s and vp’s shouldn’t retaliate for non-work related things…but unfortunately sometimes they do. Maybe she will decline.
If you think you could somehow invite everyone else without her knowing that would also be an option. I know in my office (and it’s not small) we hear about EVERYTHING.