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Do you have a verbal contract with her or have you already discussed pricing? If you have a verbal contract with her I would say you should stick to it, especially since she might have turned away business on your date because she thought she was working with you. If you dont have a verbal contract I would just explain the situtation to her and see what happens. I really dont think you yourself will want to be doing the table sets up the day before your event - I folded all my napkins the day before because I wanted them a certain way and I wish someone else wouldve done it for me.
I had a DOC for our wedding, and even though our venue came with an on-site coordinator, I'm glad that my DOC was there. I agree with Naangel55 that you think you'll be able to do all the set-up, but really, come the wedding week, you want to hand-off as much responsibility as you can. I have very detailed instructions to our DOC, and she set-up everything so perfectly, and i didn't have to lift a finger.
Does this woman own her own planning business, or does she just do it for fun/favors for people? If she owns her own business, I would stick to the verbal agreement because as Naangel55 said, she may have turned down other business to hold your date for you. If she just does this for fun, and you strongly feel that you don't need her, and that it would be a wasted cost, I would talk to her and say that after a lot of consideration, you've come to realize you've been hasty in needing a DOC, and that everything will be taken care of by your venue staff, so you don't feel it's necessary at this time. Ask what your options are if you've already surrendered a deposit. If she accepts the situation graciously, a bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates for her troubles so far would be a nice gesture on your part to ease any tensions :)
Thanks for the input...This gives me some options if I do decide not to use her but you all might be right about how nice it would be to have some else do the set up the day before. I'll go thru a list of things to be done and make that decision.
I guess I'm just getting to that point where I am so tired of paying out money. I really want that part to be over with!
I've gotta tell you... I've got a little less than a year to go, but every piece of advice that I've gotten from newlyweds has included the necessity of a DOC. People that didn't have told me that if they had one thing to do over again, it would've been to have a DOC. People that *did* have one have said what a God-send their DOC's were. I served as a DOC for weddings of two different sets of friends last year. I didn't think I'd be doing that much for either of them, but by the day-of, I was the point of contact for every single vendor and wound up putting out a few fires for them that would've otherwise gone to the bride and groom. Just some more food for thought. I hear you on getting tired for shelling out more money, and if this isn't a priority for you, you definitely shouldn't. It'd be nice to treat yourself to this little luxury, though, if you can find something else to cut that's less of a priority so that you have the peace of mind of having as stress-free a day as possible.
The DOC works for you while the Banquet Manager/Caterer works for the venue. The job of the DOC is to be your advocate and to make sure that everything takes place as you wish. Meaning, if there is a change, the evening before, 10 minutes before, etc, you have 1 person as a point of contact that can communicate and make sure it gets done. If that same person is running the kitchen, that could be an issue.
Also, do you really want to be doing setup the day before your wedding? I know I don't.
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I am supposed to be paying for a DOC but the closer I get to the wedding the less I feel like I need to have her there. We don't have a written contract but the reason that I am hesitating to tell her I don't need her is because she is the mom of a girl I work with and the wife of a guy I work with and I am afraid of it causing issues at work, with them or with others.
The main reason that I don't feel like I need her is bc my caterer has basically said that she will gladly take care of almost all the things that I was expecting a DOC to do, such as getting everyone in place for toasts/ dances, coordinating with the other vendors on the day of, making announcements for the cake cutting etc.
This paired with I just found out that I can do all the table etc set up the day before.
What else do I need a DOC for? She hasn't organized or done anything else for me so far so what is my obligation to her at this point?