(Closed) Do I have to pay for the meal for not attending after RSVP?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8163 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

While it was very inconsiderate of you guys not to stay for the dinner you RSVP’d for, I think it’s way more rude of the groom to ask for money for the meal. I wouldn’t give him anything personally.

Post # 4
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@ConfusedGuest:  I would. I would also write a note explaining what happened. I hope you don’t get alot of crap for this post.

Post # 5
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’ll just leave it at this – your Husband was wrong and you should not have left.  But it’s also very rude of the groom to ask for money. 

Post # 6
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

I would. The groom was rude though.

Post # 7
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If it were me, I would pay since I RSVP’d even though I think it was rude of him to ask. How much is he asking for?

Post # 8
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

@ConfusedGuest:  I don’t quite understand why you left anyway. I don’t think the bride/groom would be too upset about you missing the ceremony due to a mix up of locations.

To answer your question: I think its pretty rude of the groom to ask for you to pay for the dinner that you missed. If you already think the friendship is ruined because of missing the wedding, what do you have to lose by not paying them?

Post # 9
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ConfusedGuest:  If they were a close friend, I probably would just pay for it and like PP said, I’d write a note. Basically telling them what happened and that you are sorry for the hard feelings. And maybe try a better ‘get there on time’ strategy! 😉

Post # 10
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

OP, did you at least leave your gift for them at the reception venue?

Post # 12
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

I wouldn’t pay.  I think you should have stayed, and maybe explained in person why you missed the ceremony, but half of the wedding is celebrating, which you were invited to do with them!  But if you had been deathly ill or had a car accident or any other number of things that might have prevented you from coming, would you have still been expected to pay for your meal?  That seems incredibly rude.  Tell them you are sad you didn’t get to celebrate with them, and that you hope they received their gift and are enjoying their time as newlyweds.  I wouldn’t even bother addressing the whole meal price issue.

Post # 13
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Absolutely not. That’s ridiculous that you are being asked for your money back. What if your absence had been caused by an illness, accident, or other unforseen circumstance? The bride and groom should just drop it.

Post # 15
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

You still gave them a generous gift, so I will no you don’t have to pay.

Post # 16
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Although under regular circumstances it is rude to attend the reception without attending the ceremony, in this instance that really is what you should have done. It is much less rude to just attend the reception because you got lost than actually bail altogether. To be honest, I really wouldn’t pay the money, but at the same time I can understand why the bride and groom are really angry. I think it’s silly that after getting all dressed up and driving almost 100 miles you decided to just turn around instead of explaining to your husband that it was important to support your friends on their day, even if that means you missed the ceremony. 

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