Do I have to do a bridal registry? It has never been done in my family. We register for a BRIDAL SHOWER but not for a wedding. I am not having a shower anyway as far as I know. In my family we only give cards--how can you possibly carry gifts home from a destination wedding anyway? What will happen if I dont register? Someone told me I will end up with bath mats from Target...Advice please...
You don't have to register, but it's always nice to do a small registry (people like to give gifts). My future sister in-law is getting married in Maui in 2 weeks and she did a small registry at Bed Bath & Beyond; most everyone brought her gifts to the Bridal Shower. Typically if you're having a destination wedding, guests would have your presents shipped to you or they get you gift cards.
I think it depends a lot on how established you and your FI are, home-wise. If you've been living together, or you've both been out of college a while and your loved ones know you already have nice cookware/plates/small appliances, you will probably get cash.
But if you're young and just out of college, or you and your FI will be moving into your first home together, people may try to get you useful things for your new home. If that's the case, you could end up with great, useful stuff -- but you could also end up with 3 Target bathmats plus two toaster ovens and a giant painting that isn't your taste at all but can't be returned.
If you and your FI are just starting out and need the traditional household stuff (toasters, towels, coffeepots, etc.), I would suggest you register for at least a few items and tell the store to ship them to your home address. I don't think you need to worry about people bringing gifts to a destination wedding -- getting a gift on the plane is a major pain! Your guests will probably just let the store ship you the gifts.
Online registries allow gifts to send presents directly to your home instead of bringing them to the wedding. Try to get family/bridal party members to spread by word-of-mouth that you'd prefer this option if your wedding is a destination for you.
If you don't need much, register at a place with a good return policy and lots of other things you'd want so you can just trade things in for gift cards. But you'll end up with a lot of random things if you don't give guests a guideline. Also, your guests will appreciate some sort of guidance. And hey, if they all end up giving you cards anyway, then no harm done.
I registered at a number of different stores and price points and I'm still getting off-registry stuff from people who clearly don't know my FI or I (ie, [ugly] martini glasses when we don't drink hard liquor). And yes, I've gotten the ubiquitous Target bath mats (in cream). So even if you tell them what you want, people will think they know better than you.
Also, you'd think that people would think to ship things to a destination wedding/shower, but I had one person bring an entire set of towels to my destination shower! I'd recommend getting a FedEx account and saving a bunch of boxes...
You don't have to register at all! We didn't. We just put a note on our website that we were lucky enough to have each other and our friends, and didn't want any gifts. we suggested that if people wanted to commemorate the wedding, they could give to a charity that is important to us.
If you don't register, and expect gifts, you will likely end up with a lot of stuff you don't want and can't return. Registering allows people to get you want you want....
Do I have to do a bridal registry? It has never been done in my family. We register for a BRIDAL SHOWER but not for a wedding. I am not having a shower anyway as far as I know. In my family we only give cards--how can you possibly carry gifts home from a destination wedding anyway? What will happen if I dont register? Someone told me I will end up with bath mats from Target...Advice please...
posted by ju1244 254 posts 3 months agoYou don't have to register, but it's always nice to do a small registry (people like to give gifts). My future sister in-law is getting married in Maui in 2 weeks and she did a small registry at Bed Bath & Beyond; most everyone brought her gifts to the Bridal Shower. Typically if you're having a destination wedding, guests would have your presents shipped to you or they get you gift cards.
posted by AprylHzle 43 posts 3 months agoI think it depends a lot on how established you and your FI are, home-wise. If you've been living together, or you've both been out of college a while and your loved ones know you already have nice cookware/plates/small appliances, you will probably get cash.
But if you're young and just out of college, or you and your FI will be moving into your first home together, people may try to get you useful things for your new home. If that's the case, you could end up with great, useful stuff -- but you could also end up with 3 Target bathmats plus two toaster ovens and a giant painting that isn't your taste at all but can't be returned.
If you and your FI are just starting out and need the traditional household stuff (toasters, towels, coffeepots, etc.), I would suggest you register for at least a few items and tell the store to ship them to your home address. I don't think you need to worry about people bringing gifts to a destination wedding -- getting a gift on the plane is a major pain! Your guests will probably just let the store ship you the gifts.
posted by MelissaB 72 posts 3 months agoOnline registries allow gifts to send presents directly to your home instead of bringing them to the wedding. Try to get family/bridal party members to spread by word-of-mouth that you'd prefer this option if your wedding is a destination for you.
If you don't need much, register at a place with a good return policy and lots of other things you'd want so you can just trade things in for gift cards. But you'll end up with a lot of random things if you don't give guests a guideline. Also, your guests will appreciate some sort of guidance. And hey, if they all end up giving you cards anyway, then no harm done.
posted by amysue 640 posts 3 months agoI registered at a number of different stores and price points and I'm still getting off-registry stuff from people who clearly don't know my FI or I (ie, [ugly] martini glasses when we don't drink hard liquor). And yes, I've gotten the ubiquitous Target bath mats (in cream). So even if you tell them what you want, people will think they know better than you.
Also, you'd think that people would think to ship things to a destination wedding/shower, but I had one person bring an entire set of towels to my destination shower! I'd recommend getting a FedEx account and saving a bunch of boxes...
posted by rebecca 989 posts 3 months agoYou don't have to register at all! We didn't. We just put a note on our website that we were lucky enough to have each other and our friends, and didn't want any gifts. we suggested that if people wanted to commemorate the wedding, they could give to a charity that is important to us.
posted by livvie 88 posts 3 months agoWe did the same as Livvie. Most people chose not to give gifts. Their prescence was gift enough!
posted by clarita 31 posts 3 months agoIf you don't register, and expect gifts, you will likely end up with a lot of stuff you don't want and can't return. Registering allows people to get you want you want....
posted by Janna19 343 posts 3 months agoI'm from the old school ladies. Please provide a registery, even a charity registery is a terrific idea.
posted by berrymorin 15 posts 3 months ago