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Do I HAVE to send an invitation if....

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    Newbee
    mellisanne    June 27, 2010  

    ... I know first hand that people are not going to be able to make it? I have a number of people who received the STD but have told me that they will not be able to come; out of town, new babies, etc. Do I technically have to send an invite to someone who is not coming? To me it is a waste of paper, postage and time. But I also want to be polite since they did receive a STD.

    I was also thinking of maybe sending a scaled down version of the invitation, not in a pocket fold, asking to rsvp online, and fewer embellishments. They would never know anyway...unless of course they read this!

    Thanks!

     
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    Sugar bee
    JoJo Bananas    August 21, 2010   Santa Cruz, CA

    Technically you should.  What if their plans change, and they can attend?

     
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    mizrunzou    June 26, 2010   Kansas City, MO

    I agree with JoJo, plans could change.  I was actually in this situation personally and couldn't help but feel offended...FI's good friend had a destination wedding in February that we had mentioned we wouldn't be able to afford (b/c we are paying for our own wedding in June!) and we didn't end up getting an invite.  FI asked his friend about it and he said soemthing about the bride's mom messing up addresses, but we still never received one.  There was a period of time when all of FI's friends were talking about the trip, we began to reexamine our finances to see if it could work...at the time though I couldn't help wondering since we didn't get an official invite, we were still actually invited?

    We never got an invite and we ended up not going...but I did feel a bit slighted.  My FI and I actually made the joke to his friend (we have a very good relationship:  No card stock, No gift..haha - we were obviously kidding and did send a gift!) 

    In the end, are you really saving that much paper or time?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    MissHelen    November 20, 2010   California

    Absolutely send it. Even though you know that they can't make it, it's good to let them know that they're welcome  and will be missed.

     
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    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I would still send it.  Like JoJo said, plans can change so you never know.  Plus it shows them you are still thinking of them even if they might not be able to make it.

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I still sent mine just to be polite.  We had way too many invites anyway.

     
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    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    I think you should because they might be able to make it after all and if not maybe you'll get another gift out of it.  Hey, I to put the gift thing out there. ;)

     
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    Blushing bee
    hoosierbee    August 21, 2010   Bloomington, IN

    Something like this happened to me a few years ago. I was out of state and broke, and one of my good friends was getting married. I thought she did not send an invite because she assumed I could not go, but really she sent an invite to my sister with both of our names on it and I never knew. 

    So I say go for it! You never know, they might be able to make it after all and you don't want them to feel hurt that they were not invited.

     

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