(Closed) do I HAVE to state reception is adults only?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would be worried by not stating “adults only,” people are going to bring their kids. For some reason people become morons when they receive wedding invites and think they can do whatever they want! If you don’t care about someone surprising you & bringing their kids, then don’t change it.. but if you are set on NO KIDS, you need to change it..

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve learned from reading posts here (and from sending out my own STDs), that no matter what you do, people will not understand that if they’re name isn’t on the envelope, they’re not invited.  I don’t think it’s worth having the reception cards re-printed.  Just make sure that if they try to RSVP for their children, you call them right away to clarify.

 

Post # 5
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Unless the invitation says “adults only” I expect to see kids at the wedding. I don’t have kids of my own yet so I can’t say I’d bring my kids.

Post # 6
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We put something like ‘Adults Only’ on the details card as well as the web site.  Everyone except my FMIL respected it, so we were fortunate.  

I wouldn’t get things reprinted, I would just deal with the people that might not understand that their kids weren’t invited on a case-by-case basis.  Hopefully it’s not too many.

Post # 7
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

People are supposed to know that the only people invited to a wedding are those whose names appear on the invitation; unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way and there will be people who assume their kids are invited.  I don’t think you should re-print your invitations, but if you have a wedding website you can make a note that it is an adults only event.

If people RSVP for their kids, just call them up and say, hey Jane, we got your RSVP, so glad you and John will be at the wedding.  Unfortunately, we’re unable to accommodate any children.  Hope you’ll still be able to come, but if you can’t, we understand!” 

Post # 8
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We just put the parents names on the invite, not the kids.  We had an evening wedding with dinner at 8pm, so I think it was sort of assumed and our families/close friends spread the word a little.  No one RSVP’s with kids.

The only person who brought kids was SIL and well, she just did it to be an azzhat.

Post # 9
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If they are already printed….I dont think I would reprint. If you have a website, just post there  “Adult Only Reception”. Hopefully most of your guests are tech savvy and will be able to look it up. Have family spread the word also as one bee has previously posted. I would hate to reprint them. $50 could be used elsewhere. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I kind of agree with PPs: people who are going be a pain and want to bring kids against your wishes are likely to willfilly not understand “Adults only” anyway, people who are going to be reasonable about it probably don’t need to be told “Adults only”. For myself, I’m probably not going to put it in my invitations so that no one will be offended that they couldn’t bring their kids when my younger cousins are there. I’m in a similar position, in that not that many people are likely to bring kids to start with.

Post # 11
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

There is no shame in putting “Adults only” on any part of your invitation.  If you don’t want kids there, you need to let people know point-blank, however.

Post # 12
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We are telling all the families personally, so that no one can act surprised, and it gives them more time to make arrangements. If you have OOT guests, you could include in their invites a little note about options for babysitters- I’ll help find a babysitter for anyone who needs one.

Post # 13
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes, as others have mentioned: make it clear so that people are not bringing unwanted guests!

We wrote “please join us for an adult reception” on our invite, then separately told family members that their kids were allowed.

Post # 14
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

For guests from out of town, we offered to help arrange for a babysitter, which kind of gave them the hint too…

Post # 15
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sometimes I feel like I live in a different universe than everyone else when I am on the Bee, lol….I had never even heard of an “Adults Only Reception” until I got on here, so I would be the idiot who brings her kid even though the invitation is just addressed to me!

Post # 16
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Do your reception cards say something like “we have reserved X seats” or “X out of Y are attending”? If so, then I would say it’s OK. You can just correct any misassumptions when RSVPs roll in.

If you have a wedding website I’d put on there that it’s adults only, though. Just to be sure.

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