(Closed) Do I include her in the program?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I include our niece in the program as flower girl - despite not walking down the aisle?
    Yes - despite your SIL stating she will not let her walk down the aisle, include her in program : (21 votes)
    36 %
    No - she's not walking or participating in the ceremony, so why bother : (37 votes)
    63 %
    Other - please elaborate below : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    What does your brother think? Your mom? Try asking neutral parties closer to the troublesome SIL than you are.

    I don’t know what to say. I do think people would be looking for her if she is in the program but doesn’t walk down the aisle.

    I had a friend who had a niece less than a year old when she got married. She had her brother and sister in law walk down the aisle together holding their little girl. She was listed on the program as a “princess in arms” It sounds like this little girl might be too old for that, though.

    What if you got another, older flower girl or ring bearer to help walk the little one down the aisle? Maybe that would make the SIL more comfortable? Why does she not want her kid to participate? It sounds like she’s just being difficult.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I said no just because I would think it was weird if someone was in the program but not in the ceremony.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I have seen small children listed as “honorary flower girl” or “honorary ring bearer”. I think this would be appropriate in your case, but you aren’t required to do that at all. I would just make sure you get a special picture with just you and her, or you, your husband and her.

    Post # 6
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee

    is there any REAL reasons why she cant walk down the aisle?? 3 seems like a pretty good flower girl age!! Maybe she could walk with her mom (your SIL)??

    I think you’re a generous aunt, but shouldn’t put her in the program if she doesnt walk!

    Post # 7
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I say put her in the program! Why not! No one will worry about weather or not she’s walking down the aisle, they’ll be more interested it watching you walk down the aisle.

    Post # 8
    Member
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I like the addition of “honorary.” That will keep the guest from getting too confused.

    I also don’t understand why she can’t walk. I think 3 is a good age too.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I would just include her (with the title honorary)… but I’m having a hard time seeing why she couldn’t walk and then go sit with her mom.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Basically what Mrs. DG said.  I was a flower girl at three and since then I’ve seen several flower girls that age.  Does your niece misbehave?  I don’t get why she couldn’t walk down the aisle. It only takes a minute.

    Post # 12
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    my daughter is 3 and will be our flower girl and I def. don’t think she’s too young to handle the job.

    Post # 13
    Member
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I agree, why can’t she walk? We’re talking about having my 2 year old cousin be our flower girl. Can’t you talk to your niece and get her excited about walking down the aisle and then talk to your SIL and explain that you’d like to see if your niece would walk down the aisle?

    Post # 14
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We are going to have our 3.5 year old neice walk down the asile but the one year old sister won’t.  I intend to list them both in the program and I’ve asked his sister to find a dress for the baby in the same color but doesn’t have to be an expensive flowergirl dress

    Post # 15
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee

    I think the honorary suggestion would be nice…or just include her regardless…its not her fault she can’t participate…its her mothers…maybe your fi can change your sister in laws mind about it…

    Post # 16
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I may be in the minority here but I would leave her off the program if she is not actually going to be the flowergirl. I am also on the fence as far as the goody bag as well. If anything…the goodybag would be at the end of the aisle waiting on her to get there =) some motivation if you will…LOL. I think 3 is plenty old enough to be a flowergirl. When my daughter was a flowergirl at that age…she just sat on the first pew after she completed her duties…

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