- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
A few months ago, FI’s step mom was really, really rude to us on a visit. He tried to talk it over with her but it just wouldn’t happen. We both decided we would just keep our distance from her and his dad in terms of visiting them, but he still talks to his dad. At this point, even though we felt her actions were uncalled for I told FI I would still invite her/them to any wedding activity.
Recently, we had drama with FI’s mom and her family. We are still recovering from it all. We found out, very suddenly, that his mom doesn’t like me, doesn’t support our relationship and if she had it her way, we wouldn’t marry. Until then, I had a feeling she didn’t like me, but I didn’t think she would go as far as to try to ruin our marriage/wedding. But FI and I both have seen her actions and thus, are very hurt. However, since she calls, texts or emails incessantly like a stalker/angry ex gf we have decided that we will not be in contact with her until after we are married, to help reduce the stress. It’s worked out well and we both are just trying to get over the hurt.
However, I have a family shower coming up in Sept. I was told yesterday that I need to have my list to my host by the end of this month. I have no clue what to do.
Even though his mom has been mean to us, we have every intention and desire to have a “Come to Jesus” talk after we are married. In addition to his mom, her sisters (his aunts) were really rude to us to. Since then, one has reached out to us and apologized, wishing to repair the rift. I had been planning all along, to invite all of them to the family shower. But now, I’m torn!!
I don’t feel right only inviting the one aunt that tried to repair something. I want to invite FSIL (even though she was involved too) but she is really close to FI’s step mom (above) and I’m afraid if I just invite her alone, word will get out to everyone and then they will all dislike me EVEN more or it will give them a reason to start more drama. If I invite FI’s mom, my hope is that she just won’t show up. But I am afraid she would and would try to talk to me about her and FI or make a scene (if attention isn’t on her, she creates drama). And FI is set to show up to this shower at the end, so people can meet him. He doesn’t want to see or talk to her. He is currently going through therapy and both his therapist and our premarital counselor support this temporary cease in communication.
Do I invite his family and risk them showing up? Or do I just stay in the present and not invite them? My godmother is throwing it for me, so they won’t know unless I mention it. But as big of an asshole as his mom has been, I just want normalcy. I don’t want to be mean.