Post # 1
I’m working on my guest list and have come across and potential problem. I am inviting quite a few co-workers because we all hang out outside of work. There is one co-worker I’m torn about inviting; he’s one of my supervisors, and we are close and get along great and I would LOVE for him to be there, but his wife doesn’t like me or my FI (partly because of things that were told to her a long time ago, and partly because she’s just mean – like, condescending looks, snide remarks, “you can’t hang out with them anymore” stuff). I have eliminated a few people from the list for similar reasons, but I feel that if I don’t invite him that it will hurt his feelings, since we’re good friends at work and lots of others will be there.
Should I ignore my own rule and invite him and his wife even though we don’t hang out outside of work anymore? My brain says, “HELL NO! You want to be surrounded by love and joy on your wedding day, not people who dislike you!!” but my heart says, “It’ll mean so much to him to be invited (the person you work with every day) plus you want him there, if you don’t he’ll feel slighted! Wishfull thinking: this could be the time to bridge the divide and maybe things will work out once she sees that we don’t have horns and aren’t evil people.” I honestly don’t think I’m going to invite him (now that I’ve written it all out and thought about it from another person’s perspective), but I still need some advice!
Post # 3
I think if you have room then invite him. Obviously it would mean a lot to you and him. If his wife doesn’t want to share your special day then she doesn’t have to go! Even if she makes him not go at least you were nice and sent the invitation so he doesn’t feel left out.
Post # 4
I personally say yes, invite him. It will mean the world to him, your friend, and honestly, you probably will hardly even know his wife is there. I’m not sure how big your wedding is, but even with a slimmer guest list, you still don’t get to spend a ton of time with your guests. And maybe his wife will have to be on good behavior when she sees how happy her husband is to be there.
Post # 5
I agree you should go ahead and invite them. If the wife really doesn’t like you then she will probably just choose not to attend and then your friend will come alone.. and everyone wins.
Post # 6
Thanks everyone, but I know she won’t let him come to our wedding alone! I’ll have to suck it up to have him there. She wouldn’t be so crass as to cause drama at the wedding, hopefully!
Post # 7
I say invite him. It seems that it means more for you to have HIM there than to not have HER there.
Post # 9
I’d invite him (and yes, his nagging bitchwife). If she doesn’t want to go, she can stay home. 😉
Post # 10
@Statutory Grape: Off subject: Your name made me gasp until I noticed the second word….that’s funny!!