Post # 1
I have two younger sister and by younger i mean younger then me. One is 25 and one is 23…they are old enough to know better.
Firstly i should state that we have never been close…but i want us to be.
I asked them and my Future Sister-In-Law and Boyfriend or Best Friend to be in the wedding. Since day one my sisters have been dreadful, one has even dropped out TWICE. She asked to be back in the second time the morning after she had quit saying “I had a long good chat with mom and dad and if you havent replaced me i would like to be in your wedding, you should know though that its not for you its for mom and dad” I told her i would call her later. This is the same sister who wouldnt give me her dress size “until i am good and ready too” (I STILL havent got it) I postponed getting Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses so we could get them in March when she comes up but i found out through Facebook that she isnt coming anymore!! When i confronted her she said she didnt see the point in coming up twice (she is moving down at the end of the month). But she has complained about everything, from colours, to dresses to how i talk about the wedding to much..i NEVER talk to her about it cause she gets really cranky…either way i SHOULD be allowed to talk about it.
Other sister has been supportive, i even got her to come and help with invitations. Obviously while we are working on them a vent starts about other sister. She literally momorizes everything i said and tells the other sister (omitting the parts where she agreed or said stuff as well) ugggh..Its so highschool. She also got engaged 8 weeks after me with a similar proposal and very similar rign (WTF?) and ALL she talks about is her wedding now…fair enough…but mine is July 24, 2010 and hers is July 30, 2011!! (couldnt we focus on mine for a bit) She has even gone as far as to take the weekend my parents are coming to help me with me wedding stuff and has made appointments for herself to go dress shopping.!! arghh!!
Sorry guys stuper long vent. I have to come up with a decision by thrusday as we are buying dresses on Sat. I have friends who could easily and would be MORE Then happy to replace them . (these friends have sent me email about planning a stagette and they arent in the wedding) I just feel i am damned if i do or damned if i dont. I really want “sisters” to be in the wedding…but i deffinitly dont want these two girls…Is it really worth another 5 months of grief for one day of photos with them? or should i just let them go (i really think i might regret that though…well honestly i might regret either choice!!)
*sob* what do i do…im at my wits end!!
Post # 3
Sometimes you just have to realize that the “family” that you make–your friends–are better than the way your own family treats you. I think you need to cut them loose. Tell sister 1 that since she can’t seem to get anything together to help you, you’re going to find someone to replace her, and that you want people who will be there for you, not “mom and dad.” Tell sister 2 that since she seems to be too busy with her own wedding plans and that since she seems to be taking sides against you with sister 1, that you think it would be best if she focused on her own wedding and not worry about yours.
And then stick to your guns. Usually I don’t advise just ditching family, but honestly your sisters are pretty bad. And make sure you call your mom and give her an itinerary of the wedding planning weekend, and leave some sunday afternoon slots or whatever for “sister.” They’re coming up for you, not her, and you have some more pressing needs.
Post # 4
Thankyou for this. I totally agree with you. I have some very close friends that i would consider “family” and i have had a blast with them.
MY problem is..i always feel like the bad person…but we will see how it goes. Thanks for your advice 🙂
Post # 4
That’s sad, I’m sorry to hear 🙁
I agree with LaborOfLove, ask your friends, it seems as though they will be WAY more supportive, which is just what you need! This is YOU and your FI’s day and it doesn’t seem like they recognize that.
I think you will be happier in the end, this event is stressful enough, let alone with all that drama.
Post # 5
I definitely agree, I can’t believe they are acting so childish! You don’t want people bringing you down on your wedding day and I feel like they will be the type of people to make it about them and just cause you stress. You shouldn’t feel like a bad person because you’ve been more than patient and unforunately they just aren’t being supportive enough and you need to surround yourself with people who will make you happy.
Post # 6
Well, first of all definitely relieve sister #1 of her duties as she has made it clear she doesn’t care about being there for YOU on your wedding day. What a little snot. You don’t need to be mean about it, just say that you’ve decided not to have her in the wedding and leave it at that. Don’t mention anything about replacing her.
Sister #2 sounds like a typical sister, gossiping and trying to create a fight. Also, trying to steal your parents attention away from you since she probably can’t stand not being the center of attention. You can ask her to cool it for now and separate her wedding from yours, realizing yours is coming up soon and you need your parents to focus. If she complies, I would keep her in your wedding if not, tell her you can’t imagine how she’d possibly be able to devote enough attention to her Bridesmaid or Best Man duties and ask her to step down too.
I also vote for asking your other friends regardless of the decision you make about your sisters. You need people who are supportive in your circle and unfortunately it doesn’t sound like your sisters are.
Post # 7
Sometimes people say stupid things. If 10 years down the road you will regret not having them in your wedding, you should keep them in it.
Post # 8
I talked to the first sister who tried to drop out twice. I simply asked her if she was doing it for me or doing it for mom and dad. I told her that i wanted people up there who wanted to be up there. She said she wanted to be in case she regretted it one or two years down the road. We started to argue and the conversation didnt end the best, basically me yelling that she is out.
Now i am debating if i should keep the other sister who basically instegated all this stuff by feeding other sister all this over exaggerated or false gossip. Other sister said Mom and Dad already cut into her for gossiping and stirring up shit, and i confronted her about it and she just said she was “mad and had to vent”….but i just cant put any trust in her now 🙁