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Do I mention the registries on the invite??

posted 5 months ago in Beehive

Is it tacky to note where we have registered on the invitation? I know I've seen the registries mentioned on invitations before, but I'm not sure how well it's received.

 How else would people know where to shop?

Or, would it just encourage more "cash" gifts if the registry isn't mentioned??

 

Help!

posted by wizard 34 posts 5 months ago

apparently, it's considered rude to mention where you're registered on the invitation.

it's supposed to be either word-of-mouth or on your website.

posted by vee 172 posts 5 months ago

Don't put your registry information on the invitation.  It's rude to make any reference to gifts (even to say don't bring them) on the invitation.  The "proper" way to inform people of your registry is word of mouth--but not yours (unless asked directly)!  Tell your parents and your FI's parents to spread the word.  Everyone these days knows that people get wedding registries; if they want to buy off the registry they'll ask around and find out where you're registered.  Otherwise, they would probably prefer to pick out their own gift.

You could also rely on a wedding website, if you have one, to inform guests of your registry.  Pretty much every website I've seen has a spot for your registries.  I don't know the general rule of etiquette (perhaps it hasn't caught up to the technology, haha) but it's not like you're making a demand for gifts--people can go to the website if they want, but they don't have to, and the reason to have a website is to give folks useful info about the wedding, so I don't see a big problem with it.  Miss Manners might not approve, but she's super hard-core.

posted by MissSnapdragon 88 posts 5 months ago

Despite what it etiquette, I did it, my good friend put in those little card things they stores give you in her invites (which I think is more tacky the slyly adding in the invite) and I've made 5 invites for woman all who requested it be in there.

My invites were pocketfold ones, so it's easier to "hide" it persay. 

I think in this day in age it's up to you. I don't remember ever not seeing it on an invite - but that could just be where I'm from too :-) 

posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months ago

Thanks ladies! We do have a website (just theknot.com) so they'll figure it out. :)

posted by wizard 34 posts 5 months ago

it is a big wedding etiquette no no, but really it's not a big deal. in the grand sceme of things consider your guests and decide what you think is best. don't worry too much about emily post.

posted by pineapple 61 posts 5 months ago

The traditional etiquette is that registry information is not mentioned in the invitation.  Of course, if you go back a little further, the registry itself was considered incredibly tacky - not only because it was clearly a way of asking for gifts, but because it allowed the bride and groom to be able to tell what guests spent on their gifts.  More and more, invitation sets available online (and very nice ones at that) include a printed enclosure that lists where you are registered.

I was sort of on the fence, so I asked my mom and FI's mom what their preference was.  Mostly I did this because of the assumption - as stated by MissSnapdragon - that moms and bridesmaids have nothing better to do than answer 150 phone calls asking where you are registered.  We were told emphatically by both moms (who both work full time, and volunteer, and quite frankly can hardly ever be got on the phone even by us) that they had no desire to serve as the "word of mouth" and so we should include the information with the invitation.  So we had a very nice enclosure printed to go in the pocketfold.

I have no idea if anyone was offended.  We have heard from a lot of people how really lovely our invitations are.  We have had a few people call to ask where we are registered (?)  Myself, I actually like the enclosure listing the registries (although not the little cards from the store, which are a little tacky IMO just because they look cheap).  Because I'm a busy person too, and I just want to get the gift ordered...  not spend two weeks playing phone tag with your mom or you trying to figure out where the heck I should shop.

posted by suzanno 1,976 posts 5 months ago

I've always heard that it is a big no in etiquette, you can let people know where you are registered usually in the invite for a bridal shower or engagement party but no for the wedding invite.  Like others said, I think times have changed and it's up to you.  For me personally, I wouldn't put it in the invite.

posted by Jen4637 117 posts 5 months ago

I think it's pretty tacky, and definitely wouldn't do it. Put it on a website, or do it through word of mouth.

posted by livvie 88 posts 5 months ago

No.  It is the job of your wedding party to spread the word; however, you can put registry info in your bridal shower invites.  A new way to spread the word is via your website -- put the web address on your RSVP cards or invite and guest can go there to view your registry information. 

posted by caliocteach 720 posts 5 months ago

I'm including my website on the save the dates and invite.  They can refer to that or word of mouth to get registry information.

posted by shannamt 25 posts 5 months ago

I don't know if this is the correct way to do it but I usually see the registry info on the bridal shower invitation, either on the bottom in the front or in the back. 

posted by misschickie 58 posts 5 months ago

Since the point of a shower is to get gifts, definitely put it on the shower invitation, but it is just tacky to put it on or in the wedding invitation.  By then, enough people will know where you are registered that word will get around. 

posted by klheasley 11 posts 4 months ago

You put it in your shower invite, not the wedding invite.

you can however put your wedding website info on your Invitation which is what we did, as well as with our Save the Date:

get the wedding scoop: www.blahahbhaha.com

posted by glittergrl 322 posts 4 months ago

I reallt diont see the problem. Nowadays people are glad to be given instruction on everything. I, personally have never found it to e rude nor tacky when included in the invite-just VERY helpful and time saving. AT the end of the day its up to you, I am not so bothered about the 'Rules' and more about everyone and myself having an easy life and enjoyable day.

posted by englishmuffin 49 posts 4 months ago

Weddingchannel.com has a search function and most people register at the same places- Macys, Target, BB&B- so with a few minutes of searching you can find registries without having to ask anyone where the bride is registered.  I'm in the camp of not putting it on the invitation. 

posted by khar 8 posts 4 months ago

For what it is worth, when I receive wedding invitations (over a dozen in the last 12 months) I find it really tacky when they include where they are registered.  It always turns me off and I roll my eyes and comment on it to my FI.  Every one of these weddings has had a webpage (and the address was on the STDs and invite) and all the registry info was on the webpage - there was no reason to include it on the invitations.  Wedding invitations are one of the last forms of formal correspondance.  They say things like "pleasure of your company" and have beautiful fonts - why mud it all up with a request for gifts.  And it is asking for gifts.  I would rather get a bunch of tacky figurines (because people can't find my registry) than be tacky by stating where we are registered.  I also felt really uncomfortable listing our registry info on our website (because we stated the reason for our website was to provide travel information, not ask for gifts) - but similar to Suzanno - our moms said we had to put it somewhere because they don't want to be fielding calls - and so we chose to put it on the website.

**To all the brides that I've just called tacky - there are A LOT of things about American weddings that are tacky (and I think registering in general is tacky - and then there are garters, money dances, showers) - so basically we are all (me included) engaging in at least something that I find tacky.  But tackiness seems to be very subjective, so don't fret if some stranger just called you tacky.  I'm a bride - thus I'm bound to be doing something tacky too.

posted by enmoore66 217 posts 4 months ago

We are including a card with our website in the invitation. On our website will be our registry info as well as hotels, direction etc

If you don't have a website i highly recommend google pages. its free when you have a gmail email (which is free too!)

Its super easy, just cut and paste like a Word Doc.  

just sign into your gmail and open a new tab and google "google pages" a page creator will come up and have fun! 

posted by TallBride 581 posts 4 months ago

You know I am still on the fence about this one. We didn't put it on the invite...we just put our website and let guests find it that way. Of course, many guests don't bother to look through the website or read through the invitation inserts, so both of our parents have been asked about it. I've always thought it was a major faux pas, but I've seen it more and more on invitations (along with the 'No boxed gifts' request). If you are a stickler for etiquette, I wouldn't do it...but I think the registry cards aren't a bad idea!

posted by drprepper 56 posts 4 months ago

We did it, and I don't think it's tacky. Everyone we've invited seems to need a ridiculous amount of hand-holding, from making reservations to purchasing plane tickets. And unfortunately, NOT everyone is web-savvy, even today! (The upside is that the folks who aren't are probably the folks who would still bother asking around about a registry.) Rather than putting our wedding party, our parents, and ourselves, through fielding a million "where are you registered" requests, we just told people. If they're offended, hopefully they'll get over it at the wedding! We are, after all, trying to throw a marvelous party for everyone! :)

posted by cherrypie 73 posts 4 months ago

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