do I NEED a reply by date?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I need a reply by date on my wedding invitations?
    YES : (56 votes)
    100 %
    NO : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If there’s a reason you can think of that you actually need one, yes.

    Do you need numbers for catering? Chairs? Anything?

    I know I definantly will need a reply by date because I need to know how much food to get, and we will be setting up the tables for the reception & ceremony.

    Post # 4
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013


    Your venue will have a specific date when you need to provide a final number of guests.

    I would give yourself 3-4 weeks before you have to notify the vendor of your final guest count.

    Some of your guests will procrastinate and you will find yourself tracking guests down by phone/text/email trying to get a response……


    Post # 5
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yes. And plan to still hunt people down after it, too.

    Post # 6
    551 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @bootsy:  people are awful and unless you give them a reply by date, they will NEVER mail it in!

    Post # 7
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    @bootsy:  Is there a certain reason why you wouldnt want a reply-by date? Do you have to give final numbers to any of your vendors? 

    Post # 8
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I would definitely put one.

    Think of office emails 101.. if you’re asking people to do something, always give them a date or it’ll get done at their leisure (which could be never).

    Post # 9
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @bootsy:  If you carterer doesn’t need a final number and you don’t care how many show up then why even include RSVP cards in the first place? I assume though that your caterer needs a final headcount or your venue, and in this case yes, you will need a reply by date.

    Post # 11
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @bootsy:  may i ask why you wouldn’t want or consider having one?

    Post # 12
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Um, yes.  You need to know how many tables, centerpieces, ceremony chairs, and how many people will be eating and drinking.  Can’t think of a single benefit of not having one.

    Post # 13
    2474 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    YES YES YES. How do you plan to find out an accurate guest count for everything? No reply date means that people might think they can show up anytime, whether they reply or not.

    Post # 14
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Why wouldn’t you have one? I thought that’s pretty much a given.

    Post # 15
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I once went to a wedding that on the invite said something like ‘regrets only by 1/1/12’ or something along those lines. Are you thinking of doing something like that?

    Post # 16
    6457 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If you need counts for anything I would absolutely put an RSVP date. I would not put “regrets only” because a large majority of the people we had to hunt down were declines. So theoretically if we had done regrets only we would have assumed that about 30 extra people were coming because they didn’t get back to us.

    Leave a comment

    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors