Post # 1
I don’t know if there is any protocall on this. I already selected my bridal party (my best friend, my brother’s wife, and my cousin). Fiance and I had discussed him having his two brothers and my brother as his groomsmen. However, apparently Fiance was talking with his mother on the phone and she told him that it would look very bad if his brothers walk down the aisle with women who are not their wives (i.e. with my two bridesmaids). FI’s family is Mexican so maybe this is some cultural thing I am unaware of, but now I feel awkward. I know both of his brothers’ wives and see them like once a year but am not close with them at all. Am I obligated to ask them to be BMs? I don’t want to offend anyone or step on anyone’s toes, but I am stressed out of the idea of including them when I don’t even know them that well, I don’t think either one will be able to financially swing the dress I’ve chosen for my girls, either, and I hate to obligate them to put the money out for it or else risk wearing something totally different.
Can anyone think of a solution to this? I thought of having the groomsmen stand at the altar and having the BMs walk down the aisle single file….but apparently in the Catholic church in Mexico (where our Destination Wedding will be held) no one actually stands at the alter other than the groom. Ideas on how to handle this without looking bad?
Post # 3
You can have whoever you want in your bridal party. Our BIL was in our weddding, but my husband’s sister wasn’t. She had no issue with it. I have never ever heard of putting a wife in the bridal party just so her husband walks down the aisle with her?? That seems ridiculous to me. They will only be walking for a minute or 2, and that’s it. Choose who you want,and don’t be pressured to do otherwise
Post # 4
@maggierose: I would say do what you would like to do… There is no rule that says that they have to be in the wedding.
Post # 5
Oh my gahhhhhdddd. I’m sorry but this is absurd. This is just someone wanting to put in their two cents to stir things up. Your BM’s and his GM’s walking down the aisle together is more a symbol of your two lives coming together than a show of men running around on their wives with bridesmaids. If guests jump to that conclusion and find it improper, then they watch too many soaps. Do what you want, and prepare for the next 9 months of people making silly demands of you for silly reasons.
Post # 6
I don’t believe in asking people to stand up with you on your wedding day who don’t have an actual relationship with you. That job should be reserved for good friends/siblings/etc.
You don’t have to have anyone up there with you besides who you choose. Don’t feel obligated.
Post # 7
@maggierose: I have a very similar situation where I found out that my FBIL’s girlfriend wants to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Future Mother-In-Law thinks she should be one also. And I don’t know her well.
The answer is do whatever YOU want. I’m not sure about the cultural aspect for you, but people will get over it after a while. Don’t put anyone in the bridal party unless you want them there. I couldn’t imagine looking at my wedding photos and everytime feeling resentful of the Bridesmaid or Best Man that someone told me had to be in my wedding party…
Post # 8
Also wanted to add: Can they do a reading or escort other family members down the aisle at the start of the ceremony? These were some things I considered for FBIL’s girlfriend (but ultimately she will just have the role of ‘guest’).
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
It’s your bridal party, and you should have whoever you want. If you’re not close to these girls or don’t feel comfortable asking them to be BMs, then don’t. And for the record, I have been to so many weddings where spouses walk down the aisle with other people. It’s just how it goes.