Post # 1
I have written before about my feelings on my in-laws and how I feel like they have been completely uninterested in our wedding since our engagement, but it keeps getting worse and worse.
My shower was last week and my mom and FMIL and bridesmaid planned on throwing me a gorgeous shower, which it was amazing!! However my FMIL was not there! She was on vacation (which she had forgotten about my shower and planned to be away during it, she them remembered and changed her flight home to the day before). Due to the weather her flight got cancelled and thus she stayed on vacation another 5 days. She called me after her flight was cancelled and told me the news, I was so upset and angry that I probably was not the nicest to her, but I was so hurt. I have not talked to her since, at this point I just want to be done trying to have any relationship, she has one DIL who she adores. Please any advice, thoughts….
Post # 3
not sure how you can be upset – she tried to get home early for it. it happens. let it go.
Post # 4
The weather isn’t her fault. I’m guessing your reaction to this is more due to your relatioship with her than because of this one event? Is this “the straw that broke the camels back” so to speak?
As long as she wasn’t lying about the weather, there really isn’t anything she could’ve done. I mean, she did change her flight so she could be back in time, that’s some kinda effort there. And why shouldn’t she stay another 5 days? She’d already missed the thing she was coming back for…
(sorry if that sounded harsh, I’m sure you have plenty of reasons to be mad at her, I just don’t think this one is fair)
Post # 5
Yes, you should let it go. You stated she helped the plan the shower, which means she probably helped pay for the shower too…then, when she realized what seems to be an honest mistake, she tried to get home for the shower. The flight got cancelled, which was out of her control!!
I think when it comes to in-laws, especially during wedding planning, one should pick and choose their battles! This is one of those instances where breaking a relationship need not apply!
I am sorry you are hurt, however!
Post # 6
I would let it go. She forgot at first, but rearranged her plans so that she could attend. It is not her fault that the weather forced her flight to be cancelled.
Post # 7
Aside from hopping on her broom and flying to your shower herself, I doubt there was much she could have done.
Post # 9
Thank you all for your advice! When I said “help planning” she didnt do anything besides offer to pay for some…my mom and bridesmaid did everything. My FI and I just seem to always come second comparent to their other children. I guess its obvious I have more issues with her/them. I guess somehow I will have to move past this…..
Post # 10
@riss519: I agree with the others here. It’s not her fault that there was a snowstorm of doom. Rather than getting angry with her, you should work on strengthening your relationship. Take her out for lunch, get tea together, etc. That will accomplish MUCH more than getting frustated with her will.
ETA: Some people just don’t enjoy planning things. I’m one of those people. Maybe she didn’t feel like she knows you well enough to help plan. It’s very generous of her to offer to chip in. Maybe she felt that would be more useful than adding another cook to stir the pot, so to speak.
Post # 11
@riss519: It’s still pretty generous of her to offer to help pay. I definitely think this goes much deeper than her just missing your shower. Hopefully the two of you will develop a better relationship as time goes on. Best of luck!
Post # 12
Yeah let it go. She can’t control the weather. Not only that if she didn’t care she wouldn’t have planned the shower, and she wouldn’t have switched her flight so she could make it home in time. It’s just a shower.
You need to stop being petty, and be happy that you don’t have in laws all up in business.
Post # 13
Her weather control machine must’ve broken down, and I’m pretty sure her teleportation machine was in the shop at the time.
Unless she’s Zeus, she can’t control the weather. Sometimes, things beyond our control happen, and getting angry at people for it is unfair. I’m sure you’d be pretty pissed if you were late to a dinner with friends because of snowy roads and they blamed it on you.
Post # 14
I appreciate everyones comments- Thank you!! It is hard to see how interested her and her husband are in their other son and DIL’s life and how much they contriubute to them and not us…but I will def have to move past this. If they miss the wedding that will be another story!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Let it go! Don’t hold onto things that are beyond your control. Think happy thoughts!
Post # 16
Move on hun. Just keep reminding yourself that this woman will be grandmother to your children one day. Don’t you want them to have a good relationship? Chin up and let it go.