(Closed) Do I need to write two thank you cards?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How many thank you cards for a gift received before the wedding?
    One - for the wedding gift : (22 votes)
    81 %
    Two - one for the gift and another one for attending the wedding : (3 votes)
    11 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I am only sending thank yous for the people who gave gifts

    Post # 4
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    See, this was confusing to me too.  I never thought to ask, I just ended up waiting it out and sending one thank you card.  I’m not sure that it was right, but I don’t think they were at all offended.  The thank you note thanked them for both the gift, and coming to the wedding. 

    Post # 5
    2634 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think your fine by just sending a thank you note now.  When you see them at your wedding thank them then as well.

    Post # 6
    4512 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    That’s what I’m planning to do–I’m thanking anyone who’s given us a gift before the wedding NOW, and then I’ll write another note thanking them for coming after the wedding. It may be overkill, but it seems nice to me.

    Post # 7
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I don’t believe it is necessary to write two ty notes especially for just thanking them for coming. I would just write one for the gift and maybe do a verbal thank you at the wedding.

    Post # 8
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Go ahead and send the thank you now. Just include “Can’t wait to see you at the wedding!” rather than thanking them for being there afterward.

    Post # 9
    5823 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We waited out sending thank yous for gifts before the wedding.  Our thank you cards included pictures of the wedding itself (and of the person if they attended).  So we ended up sending only one card, but delayed sending until after the honeymoon.

    Post # 10
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would send any pre-wedding gifts thank you notes now.  The gift-giver needs to know that you received it.  Plus, there is a chance that they will bring another gift TO the wedding in which case send a thank you for that gift as well.  If they don’t bring a gift to the wedding you do not need to send a thank you thanking them for their presence.  Getting personal thank you cards with wedding photos is fine but use them after the wedding for gifts you receive at the wedding, not for the gifts you get weeks beforehand. 

    Post # 11
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I would send two.

    One now for the gift and another one after the wedding thanking them again for the gift and also for their attendance.

    Post # 12
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would send one thank you note, and send it now.  As a previous poster said the guest needs to know that you received the gift.  No need to send another thank you note after the wedding.  You’ll see them at the reception to do that.  Technically, the reception you host is the “thank you” for attending the wedding.  No need to send another card.  BUT, if this person did something above and beyond for the wedding (ie did a reading, was in your bridal party, or made something for the day of), then you should send them an additional card after the wedding day thanking them for their part in the wedding day.

    Post # 13
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’d just write one if I were you, and I’d put a line in about, “we look forward to celebrating with you!” and call it a day.

    I hate writing thank you notes though. Hate it. I’m too lazy for them!

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