Do I open them?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Um, I definitely opened them. Use this opportunity to get a head start on thank you cards!

Post # 3
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I would open them and get a thank you out and if they attend the shower make sure to mention what they got you.

If I was buying a gift I would want to make sure it arrive safe and in good condition so a thank you card would ensure both of those and you get a jump on thank you notes!

Post # 5
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Sunshineliz22:  I say open them send the thank you card to whom ever send it to you and mention what they got you at the shower

Post # 6
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

I don’t love Emily Post and her etiquette RULES, but I do remember reading somewhere that her advice was to open gifts as they are recieved so that you can acknowledge reciept and express thanks in the timliest manner possible.

So for what it’s worth, that’s what Emily Post says!

Post # 7
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I opened stuff as received until we got close to the wedding and started getting wedding gifts. A lot of those we left alone because we wanted to open things when we got home from our HM

Post # 8
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I was invited to my SIL’s shower and, because I live out of town, I couldn’t make the shower.  I ordered a gorgeous cocktail set from William Sonoma that was delivered in advance of the shower figuring my SIL would take the gift to the shower.  But noooooooo.  She opened it up at home instead.  I cannot begin to tell you how livid I was when I found out that my shower gift was opened prior to the shower.  She didn’t even mention the cocktail set at the shower, so I ended up looking like the loser SIL who didn’t send a gift. 

I am still ticked off about the whole thing and was astounded that the gift was not opened at the shower.

Post # 9
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ellicott:  I dont think that should have ticked you off. that is actually what you are supposed to do. 

 

Post # 10
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Sunshineliz22:  since the giftgiver for a shower might expect the gift to be mentioned or opened at the shower, I’ll probably contact giftgivers to see what they prefer individually. It’s also tricky for me because we started receiving gifts months ago, so it won’t be as easy to tell if gifts from ppl invited to the shower are for the wedding or the shower. There must be more online about this somewhere. 

Post # 11
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have never heard of sending a shower gift in advance!   At every  shower I have ever attended, the guests arrive with gifts in hand. 

 

Are you sure these are not actual wedding gifts that are arriving by mail?

Post # 12
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

HappyTrails:  I live in the ny area and a lot of ppl travel by subway so they shop online and ship even for showers (I always do) because there isn’t a way to easily transport bulky items. 

Post # 13
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Waitingbee57:  Well, when family members ask you why you didn’t send your SIL a shower gift, it would piss you off, too.  Like I said, my gift wasn’t even mentioned at the shower and it made me look like I was petty and/or cheap!  This is one reason I am glad that I am not having a shower.

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