(Closed) Do I really have to deal with this right now?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Just respond candidly but nicely because it sounds like you will have to do that a lot in the planning. Nip it in the bud! If you answer wishy washy, she will expect to get her way.

“No BF Name will not be the best man, so and so will likely be, and I want all the girls to be in the same dress, thanks for the suggestions though”

Post # 4
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Some people are like this, especially when they will get any tiny bit of spotlight. :/ I would definitely be like hell to the no about the dresses and BM comment. She must be crazy if she thinks she’s calling all the shots.

I will say, she probably will cause you a lot of stress on this. I don’t know if I’d keep her as MOH if it were me, but that is obviously totally up to you. It may cause just as much drama to not have her as MOH. Meh, some people.

Post # 4
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Pinksapphire: If it was my sister I would just laugh at her and ask her wtf she’s thinking!  But… I think @lefeymw:‘s suggestion might be better. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Double Post :/ 

Post # 5
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lefeymw:  I like this.  You definitely want to be upfront with her now.  Let her know your vision for your wedding and maybe stress that it’s YOUR wedding and it will be how you want it.

Post # 6
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m surprised you even chose her as your MOH if her BF makes fun of your FI constantly… that’s not very nice, and she should put a stop to that, and then expect him to be the best man?!  Is she nuts.  I would just say that the best man is the grooms decision and aren’t picking people based on pairs.  Sheesh, her BF would be lucky to make the bridal party at all!

As for the dresses, say you want elegant dresses, and for them to be all the same.  If she wants to look different, she can have a sash added to the dress, or a broach in her hair lol.

Post # 7
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow. Tell her straight out that it’s your wedding and that she isn’t going to be wearing a short dress and that the BM is going to be someone that your FI is actually friend with.

Post # 8
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, I think your sister needs a reality check on whose wedding this is, but with that said I hope you were firm and told her that her BF definitely doesn’t deserve to be the Best Man and that the dresses are your choice, not hers.

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As PP said, speak up now or forever hold your peace.

Post # 11
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Tell her the truth now and be super firm – the groomsmen will be FI’s friends and family, and you want the girls in the same dress. If you start hesitating or seeming like you might cave, it’s going to start a really bad pattern that will be super hard to deal with.

Post # 12
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I were you, I would start putting my foot down, and get used to saying the word “No.” Things will only get worse if you don’t. I know you don’t want to create more drama, but if she is not going to fulfill her MOH duties then what the heck is the point? You can’t let your sister and your mom control your wedding. You are the bride and you call the shots.

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Tell her like it is. It is your wedding. So you get to pick the dresses and thats tough shit for her. As for the rest just explain that the wedding party you want to consist of family and close friends. Just say FI has a lot more people he has known longer and want them to stand up with him. You cant wait tho you need to talk to her NOW. Let her know how its going to go.

Post # 14
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

tell her no and you will do what you want.  Thats what I would do.

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