Do I ruin the suprise???

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

Did you let the MOG know that your daughter (and FI?) aren’t in to it? Maybe you can just get around it happening by talking with the groom’s mom. If not, I would pick hte least embarrassing pictures you cand find and drop some hints so it’s not a total surprise.

Post # 3
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

mobcolleen:  that’s a tough one. I am a person who doesn’t react well to surprises and I would probably be pretty mad if my family did this.. you know your daughter best, how would she react if surprised?

Post # 4
Member
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I would tell her so she’s prepared to act surprised/happy.  My mom would tell me too haha.

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

mobcolleen: she’s explicitly said she doesn’t want this multiple times. Yet two people are going ahead and doing it anyway. Do they know that she doesn’t want this? Do they want her to be embarrassed at her own wedding?

I would tell her because I’d rather deal with drama before the wedding than at the wedding or after the wedding. If they really want to do the montage, do it at the rehearshal dinner or at a just-family dinner or something so it’s less embarrassing. 

She might not disapprove of the photos, but she might not appreciate going behind her back and messing with her day-of timeline all in the name of a “surprise”

Post # 6
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would tell the grooms mother that uour daughter specifically said she does not want something like this. Offer to help them think of another way instead to do smth with the pictures, like a scrap book? Or what abt moving the slide show to the rehearsal dinner? I can honestly say as a future bride I want no such surprises at my wedding and would be so annoyed if someone stuck a long video montage in my reception time. It’s just not my style. 

Post # 7
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

mobcolleen: I wouldn’t ruin the surpise but as previous posters mentioned I would talk to the Mother of the Groom and see if maybe she wouldn’t be open to putting the photos into a Shutterfly book or something similar instead. 

I made big 12×12 photobooks for my older brother and SIL and my FSIL and her husband and both were a huge hit! We gifted them at the rehearsal dinner and they passed the book around. 

Post # 8
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

BWLE:  What she said.  I would hate to be surprised by this at my reception.  My in laws are putting something together for the rehearsal dinner. I even think that is a bit much but it’s their party and they can do what they want then. I would tell the inlaws to do it at the rehearsal and then only give them photos that you think she will approve of.

Post # 9
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

mobcolleen:  NO! Absolutely don’t do it, or let the MOG do it. Tell you’re daughter that she wants to do something she explicitly doesn’t want, and behind her back, so she can call the venue, to make sure it isn’t done. 

Post # 10
Member
700 posts
Busy bee

mobcolleen:  This sounds exactly like my mom and I! She and my MIL wanted to surprise us with a photo montage, however she wanted to make sure I was okay with the pictures. So, she told me that although she wanted it to be a surprise, she wanted me to be okay with what was shown. I was VERY, VERY adamant that I did NOT want any photo show of any kind. However, she insisted and I realized it was important to her.

During the wedding, I knew it was coming. I am very happy she told me versus surprising me, so I could at least be prepared. Although I originally was very against any photo show, it turned out to be a great moment of the night. I loved even the mildly embarassing pictures after hearing the response they received from the guests.

Post # 11
Member
4640 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would tell her, or tell the MOG that she doesn’t want it. At all.

I’d be mortified is someone decided to ‘surprise’ me with something so.. awful.

Post # 12
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

mobcolleen:  I wouldn’t tell your daughter. I would talk to the MOG and tell her that your daughter is not comfortable with that idea, and that maybe she should run it by her instead of keeping it a surprise, and then you can jump in and suggest that you can help her find some not so embarrasing pictures. I love video montages, I had one for my dad (he passed away and I wanted to honor him) and I also had one that had picture of my DH and I as babies through present time. Its very sweet. And its somethign that can be played through dinner

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