Do I send a gift? If yes now or later

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When should I send a gift
    With the response (and will be with a wedding card too) : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Send gift closer to the actual wedding date? : (26 votes)
    87 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would send it a bit closer with a wedding card. Throwing it in with the RSVP says “sorry i cant come but here some cash”. A card and being a separate gift is more thoughtful. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    When I can’t attend a  wedding, I send two things: first, the RSVP.  Second (and separately), a wedding card with gift.  It doesn’t matter how far out you send it before the date — might want to send it now so that you don’t forget it!  Also, it’s been great fun receiving gifts before our wedding — we can use them all the sooner!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3633 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with PP. I send two separate things when I can’t make it. I definitely get the RSVP back in the mail ASAP. Then a few weeks later or so, I’ll send a gift from the registry or, in your case, a wedding-themed greeting card with money. I don’t think it’s necessary to send it super close to the wedding date. In fact, it may be better that it’s earlier because 1) they can use the money and 2) you won’t get lost in the shuffle of the rest of the gifts.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it depends on your budget … since their wedding is so close to yours, you have a lot of expenses already, maybe you will feel more comfortable going to honeymoon, then when you come back you will probably have cash gifts from your guests and it will allow you to send a cash gift to them. Either way, I think they will understand that the timing is a bit problematic there, and even if you send your gift later, they will be happy. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I would probably send them at the same time…just b/c I am pretty forgetful, and if I don’t do something right away, there’s a chance it won’t get done. I would, of course, send the card/money in its own envelope. If someone did that to me, I wouldn’t think twice about it.

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