- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I recently had my bachelorette party, and the behaviour of the girl who threw the party for me afterward was so appalling that I don’t even want to continue being friends with her. I’m a bit confused though – does her horrible post-party behaviour legitimize not sending her a thank-you card for throwing me the party? Do I still send her a thank-you card but just not continue the friendship? I certainly won’t be able to send her a note that is very sincere. Help with the wording would be appreciated. I don’t want to be the rude one here, unless her behaviour was so appalling that I shouldn’t even bother. Here is what happened (scroll to the last 2 paragraphs if it’s too much to read, that’s the real problem):
She’s not a bridesmaid, she’s a distant cousin of mine who is such a crazy party girl that I was actually afraid to even have her AT the party, she tends to get blackout drunk and start fights with bouncers and crap like that. But she is pretty good at throwing theme parties, costumes, fun stuff like that. My logic was, if I get her to organize the party, she’ll feel responsible and maybe less chance that she will ruin it! yay? Also she kind of ‘shottied’ it and declared to me that she was throwing my bachelorette, most of my bridesmaids are out of town so I just went with it.
The party itself was ok. She dressed me up, went all out with the penis paraphanalia (which I had told her to go ahead with), and brought good food, a couple of games, and made a GIANT pinata in the shape of a penis, which was super funny. So those were good. But some minor to moderate fuckups were:
– she didn’t really get organized and send out e-invites until pretty close to the party, resulting in only 6 people showing up
– she arranged for a psychic (totally not my cup of tea but whatev), but then ran out of money (spent it on penis stuff), plus not enough people were at the party to pitch in, so she cancelled it, but clearly forgot to cancel it because the psychic showed up, and then she had to tell him to leave!
– she had arranged for reservations for us at this awesome bar with live music, that i would have loved, but then she started hitting on this guy at the first bar we went to and didn’t want to leave, convinced us we could just go to the live music bar later, but we missed our reservation and we would have had to wait in line for an hour in the freezing rain 🙁 so we missed out on that and just bar hopped – that was the whole party. Even though she knew that I wasn’t drinking because we have started TTC. So I had to put a lot of effort into fake-drinking. Which worked out ok so it was fine, but it would have been nice to have some aspects of the night that were not just about getting hammered.
But the MOST HORRIBLE thing she did by far was that she put pictures of my maid of honour on facebook and tagged them, after she had distinctly promised her that she wouldn’t. The pictures were all these somewhat suggestive shots of everybody with all the dick stuff that she bought. My Maid/Matron of Honor works with children and has a lot of underage family members and work colleageus on her facebook and she keeps things very PG. Yes she should have had the setting on that makes you have to approve things that you are tagged in, but she’s not a huge facebook user and she didn’t know it existed. And my cousin had promised her that she wouldn’t put up any dick pics with her in them 🙁
Not only did she put the pictures up and tag her in them, but when my Maid/Matron of Honor found out and asked her to take them down, instead of apologizing, she bitched her out and didn’t even take them down. She posted numerous awful messages berating my Maid/Matron of Honor, rather than just admitting she made a mistake and fixing it, which would have been so simple. Then she posted this passive aggressive facebook anonymously-directed status immediately after that was akin to “People who are uptight bitches should kill themselves”. My Maid/Matron of Honor is the nicest girl in the world and I can’t believe this bitch would do this to her!! I knew she was a little crazy but this is just wayyy too far, I am so insulted and disappointed and angry. I basically don’t even want her to come to my wedding anymore. But she’s family, and her parents and aunts are coming to the wedding too so I can’t exactly start drama like that, my mom would be upset.
What do I do? Do I wait till after the wedding to bring this up with her, or bring it up now? Do I send her a thank-you card for throwing the party? Ugh. I want to send her a NO thank you card!!