(Closed) Do I Send Invites to Everyone I Sent a StD to?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I woul send them an invite anyways, like you said, things could change.  

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@auggiefrog:  Took the words out of my mouth.

Post # 5
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My first thought was yes but if people have already rsvped on your website as no, mmmm I’m not sure. People may still ike to get an invite but some people may feel the pressure as you suggested, it’s a hard one. What do both sets of parents think?

Post # 6
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If they have already RSVPd no, I wouldnt send them an invite personally.  I am sure if their situations changes they will let you know seeing as they went out of their way to RSVP before the invite was recieved.

Post # 7
Member
3614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@Firie:  I agree

Ordinarily I’d say yes.  But it seems a little off to send people who’ve RSVPd no.  I’d go so far as to say rude.  I mean, they took the time to RSVP already.  And since yours is DW, there’s probably work schedules and financial pressures which mean they can’t go.  I’m sure they’d all love to! Seems like rubbing salt in the wound to me.  However, I would hate these people to feel left out if you didnt send one.

It’s a toughy.

Post # 8
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with auggiefrog and would send them the invite anyway. You could include a little note in their invitation along the lines of “sorry to hear you won’t be able to make it, but we want you to feel included”. You’ll probably have put thought into which invitiation to use, so your potential guests would probably enjoy seeing it. 

Post # 9
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@SnowflakeDS:  I would agree with the note idea, to keep people feeling included.

Post # 10
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, you still send them an invitation.  A save the date is pretty much an invitation, and all guests who receive one MUST receive an invitation.  Their plans might change, or it might come off that you ‘uninvited’ them if they don’t receive an invite after they told you they wouldn’t be able to make it. 

Our good friends have a scheduled c-section for the day after our wedding.  They still received a save the date, and will receive an invitation, that is proper etiquette.

 

Post # 11
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Agree with the SEND people. I’m making an assumption here, but for destination weddings you don’t invite THAT many people, so it’s probably people who care about you (and vice versa) quite a bit–at the very least don’t they want to see your invitation? Maybe that’s my self involved bride brain talking to.

I can’t imagine NOT sending an invitation to someone who is invited! 

Post # 12
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We’re also in the same situation as the OP–thanks for posing this question OP!.

We want to send invites to people who already RSVPed no, but we feel bad because FI’s family operates within the confines of old-school ettiquette where an invitation warranted sending a gift–we don’t want to seem gift grabby because we’re not–thoughts?

Post # 13
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Mrs.Darling:  Assuming the people who RSVP’ed no are family or close friends, I don’t think you’ll seem gift grabby. If you’re close with those who can’t make it, they would probably send you a gift regardless of if they get a formal invite because they know they were invited (just because they can’t make it doesn’t mean you didn’t invite them, whether or not it was with a formal invite). 

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