(Closed) Do I sever ties?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@keepsmiling19: I would pass. If she has the balls to ask or mention if shes invited just play the “its going to be only family and REALLY close friends” card. Its not worth having to worry about her for the remainder of your engagement. 

Post # 4
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I couldn’t be friends with someone like that… She sounds unpleasant. Not really the type of person you want in your life forever. I would cut ties and move on from the situation IMO. You gain nothing by befriending her again and you lose nothing by not. Win, Win.

Post # 5
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Cut ties with her!  This is coming from a girl who has done this several times going back to HS, so it’s not a hard decision for me.  If being her friend is too hard and makes you unhappy, why bother?? 

Post # 6
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@keepsmiling19: Invite her to the wedding, but don’t make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  She sounds the like the type of person that if she gets pissed off about not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she won’t come anyway.

Post # 7
3801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a 2 year rule. If I haven’t seen a friend in 2 years, then I do not feel obligated to do things for them/with them if asked and I do not feel comfortable. I was recently invited to a wedding for someone that I have not seen in 2 years (due to different circumstances) and I said no. I decided it was best not go to because truthfully, she and I do not ‘know’ each other anymore.

That being said, I wouldn’t worry about it. You could just thank her for the card and then let the rest of it fade out. If you are not interested in being her friend, you don’t have to. That’s the nice thing about being an adult…you don’t have to keep people in your life that you don’t want in it.

Post # 8
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I would not ignore the card but if you don’t want to get a drink with her maybe a nice email thanking her for the card and ignoring that part would be appropriate. I could not see how she would assume she would be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if she’s only finding out about your engagement through her sister. If you enjoy her, I would get the drink and invite her to the wedding but do not feel pressure to make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 9
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@soyjoy222: I agree with this rule!

You’re not obligated to even invite her to the wedding. She may be hurt, but if she was willing to contact you back then what stopped her from staying in contact with you until now?

Post # 10
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@slicey19: i agree totally. i would acknowledge the card, but don’t feel obligated to invite her or make her a bridesmaid just because you contact her. if you do get a drink with her and she pulls this stuff, then you can cut ties

Post # 11
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with PP that a thank you for the card is in order. Beyond that, it’s up to you and what you feel comfortable with.

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