Do I still have to invite her?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should she still be aloud to come?
    Yes : (9 votes)
    21 %
    No : (34 votes)
    79 %
  • Post # 3
    1751 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Gods no, I wouldn’t say you should invite her. Be understanding that she may feel snubbed and convince her fiance not to go as  well. I might ask your fi to talk to the friend about it.

    Post # 5
    222 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m confused – you contradict yourself a few times here. Did she say something to you or not? What did she say?

    Either way, you only have to invite people YOU want at your wedding, regardless of relationships. Just be aware that she may rock up uninvited, with kids in tow, just because (especially if her guy is there).

    Post # 7
    1751 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @oxstardust421xo:  I think you have your answer. You don’t want her there and he’s understanding about his friend possibly not attending. I think it’s for the best. That kind of person is no good at a wedding. Drama bomb!

    Post # 8
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @oxstardust421xo:  Your post doesn’t make much sense to me either, you say she ignored you when you said hello, then that your fiance didn’t hear what she said and you told him on the way home.  I voted yes, unless you don’t invite friend either, but it does depend a bit on exactly what she said to you.

    Post # 9
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee

    You have a whole year until your wedding.  I really wouldn’t stress about this now.  They might not even be together by then, or your FI’s relationship with the friend might change  following such a stunt, given I would expect him to distance himself from him in the absence of a heartfelt and genuine apology. 

    Next summer, if there was no change, I would have my FI sit down with the guy and say this: “listen, John. I know you love her, but I really can’t accept the way she treats my almost wife.  It would be very rude of us to not invite you as a couple, but I need to tell you I don’t want her at our wedding. We do want you with us , though. Our options are this : we can invite you both, but you need to promise me she stays home. If you can’t, or if it will cause problems for you, then I hope you understand that we can’t invite you.”

    Post # 12
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @oxstardust421xo:  ah i see, sorry, i read it as that’s what she did, not what she said! n that case NO, don’t invite her as things stand, and your friend should understand. You can always change your mind if she miraculously changes before your wedding. 

    Post # 13
    124 posts
    Blushing bee

    @oxstardust421xo:  if she was drunk i would look past it in the name of peace. IMO I dont know what is he said she said because there are a lot of speculation (rape, parenting skills etc) , maybe she caught wind of how you felt about her. Not saying she has any right to being a b*tch but that’s just how some ppl get especially with alcohol in their system. Bottom line is it’s truly up to u it’s ur day ur way, you are 100% justified in your reasoning


    Post # 14
    7273 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @oxstardust421xo:  If you don’t invite her, the friend may not come. After all, would you attend a wedding if your partner wasn’t invited, and everyone else gets to invite their partner?

    Also, I don’t see how she will disrupt your wedding. She’s been rude to you, but how will she actually spoil your wedding?

    Are you – and your fiance – willing to take the chance that his friend might boycott the wedding?

    So I say leave it to your fiance. His friend, his decision.

    Post # 15
    3238 posts
    Sugar bee

    @oxstardust421xo:  Do not stress about this.

    Seriously, you have 10 months at least until invitations need to be in the mail. I would seriously doubt they would even be together still, or if they are that your FI and he will still be friends.


    Post # 16
    830 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @oxstardust421xo:  I don’t think she needs to be invited. Of course there is that whole “it’s your day, do what you and your FI want” mentality, which I do support you to apply in this situation. You do not owe her anything, and if your fiance’s friend holds any grudges then don’t invite him either. If he can’t see her for what she really is then you don’t need either of them there. Etiquette is good to follow, but there are just some cases where common sense just… makes more sense – You don’t need negative people around you or your new husband on your wedding day! 🙂

    Actually, now that I think of it,  my fiance and I do not really get along with the best man’s girlfriend and we are not inviting her. I was somewhat worried, however, and asked my fiance if doing this would put the best man (aka his best friend) in an awkward position, but apparently it’s all ok! He knows we don’t like her, but he’s made it clear that he’s completely cool with it – he and my fiance go back a long way, and I know it would take a lot more than something like this to come between them. Anyway, good luck with your decision and don’t think about it too much – there’s really no need. You’re just too sweet! 😛

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