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So, I've worked really hard on some of my DIY projects for the wedding, and I'm really pleased with the way they've turned out. I have a few of them below for you to see.
Every time I show them to my mom she is just overflowing with praise about how great they are, but what I've shown to my FMIL is met by "how nice, but couldn't you have bought that professionally made?"
The answer is, yes, I could have, and I could have bought it within budget, but I wanted to MAKE it.
So a few months ago she was asking about programs and I told her that I intended to make them myself. I had a cover design which I showed her (a wordle of our names and wedding vows). She kind of turned her nose up at it and didn't bring it up again.
As it turns out, she went over my head and asked FI's cousin, a graphic designer, to do the programs for us. I got a call from the cousin saying how excited she was to do them and asking all sorts of questions and I was so taken aback that I just am letting her do them, because I didn't have the heart to tell her I wanted to make them. But I was excited about making them myself, and I'm really disappointed that I can't. Honestly my self esteem about my other projects is kind of damaged now, because I worry that my in-laws will look down on them...
Are they horrible? Should I have them done professionally? Below are my ring bearer pillow, flower girl pomander, and favor bags... just a sample of things I've done...
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They are NOT horrible, they're great! It sounds as if perhaps your FMIL is more concerned with "appearances" than about your wedding being an expression of who you and your FI are. She need not worry though because from what I see, those DIY's would stand up to the most discerning eye. Don't let her get you down!
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Before even reading the post I was going to say B*#$% and the reason is, it is your wedding, if you have ask if someone is being a less than respectful participant, um, my instinct is to say YES.
However, after looking at your projects, my conclusions is YES, of course she is being a B*&^%$
These look AMAZING!!!
you clearly have talent in the design and creating category.
keep up the great work.
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Wanted to add: it stinks that she went over your head on the programs. Make sure your cousin designs EXACTLY what you want, that way even if you didn't get to make them, you can at least be completely happy with the end result.
I think they look fabulous. I wouldn't worry about it, if you can, just let whatever she says slide off.
I recently was daydreaming about creating an etsy store for Gocco'd wedding invitations, and I was asking myself, why would someone pay me to make their invitations if they could do the same thing themselves? And then it dawned on me... not everyone is a DIY kind of person. There are tons of people, if not the majority of our society, that would MUCH rather pay someone to do something for them than lift a finger to do it themselves.
Your FMIL is probably just one of those people.
And, by the way, I would love to see your wordle program design! Please share!!!
those look great! i especially like the pillow. it sucks that your FMIL is being so snooty & you're really a bigger person than I am when it comes to letting someone take over your project. If I'd had my heart set on doing something & someone gave it away, I would've freaked out.
Maybe you can avoid telling her about your other projects and then ignore her responses when they eventually come. At the end of the day, you're happy that you made special things for your wedding & you'll be happy everytime you see pictures and think about the fun you had creating stuff!
omg they look fab! sorry your FMIL is being a huge Bia!! What's her deal anyways? I got negative responses for doing my own stuff. "oh it'll look sketchy" or "oh i was skeptical" etc. But it looks great!
If she says something again, just tell her "oh but it means so much more to have things handmade than just handing over money for wedding stuff...ANYBODY can do THAT" haha.
To the person who asked about the program covers, here was my design.
Thanks for all the kind words!! Weddingbee always has a way of making you feel better!
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Your fmil is inded a B!%@$!! Your diy is awesome I think the favor bags are my favorite!! That is really nice of you letting the cousin make the programs but let that be the last and only time fmil will get her way. I think that your diy is awesome and don't let her comments get you down. I agree just don't share this diy info or just say you bought it, and then when she says she likes it tell her you made it!
no way, your projects are awesome and MUCH better than what you could "just buy"!
I love it all. Do what you want and tell your cousin specifics. And then don't tell your FMIL about any of it and she'll never know what you paid for and what you made yourself!
Umm your FMIL is crazy (all respects intended ;) )
Your DIY project rocks! I think you did a GREAT job! Maybe she was just thinking about other things and couldn't be bothered to care at the time.
Amadopolis these projects ROCK! I agree w/ Lorienne, that perhaps she is too worried about what ppl might say. Personally I think those ppl would agree that the things you made are GREAT :)
Those projects are adorable. There is absolutely no reason for her to be snooty about them. As for the programs, did your FI at least call his mom out for that? I'm just wondering how you know she won't pull something similar again.
Keep up the good work. She'll have to deal.
I tried to send this before, but my internet blew out!!!
Your instincts are correct...she's crazy. Your stuff is great and best of all, there's sentimental value involved. I recently went to my parents' storage unit and saw their wedding stuff and it brought a tear to my eye, and I can't imagine what it would be like to share the stuff you actually made with your children. I'm envious of anyone with the talent and creativity to do these things.
Don't let anyone talk you out of it. It's awesome.
Those are great! Take what she says with a grain of salt. Unless she's willing to pay for everything (and even if she is, it's still it's your wedding), it's not really her business.
Negative people like your FMIL like to deflate your pride. DO NOT SHARE with her. Let it all be a "surprise." (I'd still share with anyone who was POSITIVE though...) And your FI needs to tell her to get the stick out of her @$$, and keep her nose down when she's talking to you!
Umm Wow!! to me they all look like they were professionally done. You did an amazing job!
I am so sorry that your FMIL is not appreciating your obvious talents. I suggest shrugging them off, and know that all your other guests will be very impressed to learn (if they do) what a wonderful job you did on all of your DIY projects.
I wish I had an ounce of your talent for my DIY projects.
They really do look great. I promise, I wouldn't have said anything if I thought otherwise :)
Maybe with the programs try to look at it as one small thing off your plate instead of a missed opportunity.
Your projects look completely professional! Maybe your FMIL just has a different aesthetic from yours -- she might be picturing satin with rhinestones for the ring bearer pillow, for example -- and she assumes the reason they don't look the way she pictured was that they weren't "professionally" done. Or maybe she's just a passive-aggressive b****. Either way, ignore her -- or better yet, do what MightySapphire said and stop showing her stuff if she's just going to be negative!
If I had half the talent you do at making things I wouldn't be buying anything. Your FMIL would hate my stuff because it more or less looks like something an advanced 8th grader would do, but your stuff looks professional. I would buy it
love the favor bags and your design for programs. It kind of makes me wonder what FI's cousin will come up with
These are awesome I wish I had your skills to make these...or even just time and patience. Lets see your FMIL make these!
Your DIY projects are beautiful! Maybe FMIL is jealous because she could never come up with anything so pretty and original herself!
I think your projects look great! I wonder too (like someone mentioned above) if her personal tastes are different so b/c it's not what she envisioned in her head she reacts in the manner she does. Regardless, at some point she really needs to realize that this event really is you & your FI's to dictate design direction. Maybe that is something your FI could speak with her about. I know I had to have a nice little chat with my FI b/c he kept shooting down my DIY ideas and suggesting we pay someone to do the same thing. In his mind he knew I could do it, but he felt like I was taking on too much. He finally realized I WANTED to do these things for our wedding....perhaps your FMIL needs to come to that realization as well. It's your wedding, and these are things you WANT to do. I'm sorry whatever is going on has made you doubt your DIY "skillz" though b/c I'm loving what you've done....those favor bags especially!
Will you make stuff for my wedding?
Just kidding (kinda). But, for serious, everything looks amazing. You obviously have a coordinated aesthetic going--I can even see your colors scheme. So just don't listen to your FMIL--remember, it's YOUR wedding, and you should be able to celebrate with things that are important to YOU.
aw, that sucks. Your projects look GREAT!!! You did an amazing job! She must be crazy. And mean!
Um, ok, those are FREAKING AWESOME! I think shes just jealous that she doesn't have your mad skills!!
I REALLY want a pomander like that!!!
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Everything looks great! It looks like you spent a lot of time and effort on them. The guests will really appreciate it.
I'm making favor bags like that too! I love the fabric you used for the ring pillow. :)
oh my goodness amanda, everything you've made and the design for your program covers is A-FREAKING-MAZING!!! Seriously! I have no idea why your fmil would think otherwise. And I don't think your other in-laws will look down on the things you have created! And you know what. Even if someone thinks anything even remotely bad about the projects you've done yourself...well then who gives a flying fart what they think! This is your wedding and your DIY projects are a reflection of you. That's what matters. And the fact that you would take the time to create these things shows that you want things to be personal for your guests. If your fmil can't see that, then she can just keep her mouth shut and save her snooty attitude for someone else. You've done a fantastic job and I KNOW your guests will be amazed by it all!
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I don't know who this crazy lady is :-)
'Cause I think your stuff looks GREAT! I mean, really great. You should be proud of yourself.
All of your projects are FANTASTIC. Very unique and event hough i dont know you personally. . .i would assume they are very you.
Is the "all you need is love" on your favor bags a stamp? If so, I would love to know where you got a hold of it.
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Your projects look great! I don't know why your FMIL is being so negative but she is WRONG! If you and your FI are happy with your DIY my 2 cents is to tell her where to stick it... well maybe not in those words! LOL You could say "I know we could have bought it but I really enjoyed making it... besides it was cheaper/more us". SIGH!!! Why must people be so critical of other peoples weddings?!
Ugh, how annoying to have that stress added to your wedding planning! Your projects look amazing (!!) and you should absolutely try to ignore all the negative things coming out of your FMIL's mouth. Definitely agree with other bees...just don't show the DIY things to her so you don't have to deal with it. There are plenty of non-DIY things you can discuss with her if you still want to keep her involved. You (and everyone on this board) know how awesome your stuff is turning out, so don't let her get to you and keep on DIY-ing!!
I love your DIY stuff, much better then you could "buy" somewhere. Don't worry about your FMIL, some people just don't get DIY. Hang in there, I think its great!
These are fantastic! I love the favor bags the most too! But the pomander looks so professional too! Your FMIL is crazy.
I think you should still use your program design, and give it to your cousin. That would show you FMIL! ;) If mine did that, I'd be so livid! Kudos to you for handling the situation the way you did!
All of your DIY looks fabulous! Maybe your FMIL just doesn't understand how important it is for you to do the projects yourself. For me, it's my mom that always says "You're going to make them?" I think she worries I'm overdoing it and that paying someone else to do it will just be easier, but I just tell her that it's important for me to do them- it's what will make my wedding special. Don't let it get you down- the projects look great! 
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