- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Okay, so I have been mulling asking this question, but I’m pretty tender about it. Please, be gentle.
My Fiance was previously married, and I have never told my parents about this. With our wedding less than 6 months away, I’m wondering if I should.
We’ve been dating almost 6 years, and I have never told them. Of course the best time would have been once we got serious, but that didn’t happen. The ex was totally out of the picture by the time we met. I bumped into her once, but she has had no impact on my life.
My reasons for not telling them:
1) Its none of their business. He doesn’t have any kids, and no obligations to her.
2) Its a complicated story. In short, high school sweethearts, by all accounts a nice girl who got mixed up with a bad crowd and drugs. She drained their savings and slept with her playboy dealer. But the other side is that he worked too much and didn’t invest in her well being much beyond finances. He also acted very, very poorly in the break up, as in a drunken confrontation at her work and sending her parents her diary, filled with all of her dirty deeds. I don’t want to get into the story, because although there is a way to make him look fine (just mention the drugs), he believes in the truth. She is totally cleaned up now, and he thinks it is important to acknowledge his role in her problems.
3) They are conservative Catholics and will not be happy.
4) It’s been a long time.
My reason for telling them (only one):
1) I don’t want them to find out at the wedding if someone is rude and mentions it.
I’m terrified of the slip. I don’t know what context it would happen in, but it would actually ruin the wedding day. But, god, telling them will suck. Ugh. I’m 27 and a frickin’ adult and all, but I’m close to my parents. I believe in privacy, so I don’t feel as if they deserve to know, but I don’t want them to find out in a bad way.