Post # 1
I’m as pleased as I can be that I’m getting RSVPs back in the mail, but I’ve noticed a trend. The people who decided to give themselves a +1, without us inviting them to bring someone, have all been men!
I really don’t get how anyone can do this. The invite & RSVP card make it VERY clear who is invited. If you really MUST bring someone, why wouldn’t you call the hosts first to make sure it would be okay? If any of these people had actually called me to ask if they could bring a date, I would consider it much less rude. But none of them did.
So my question is, for those of you who had/will have uninvited +1s brought to your wedding, was the guest who brought them a man or a woman? Did any of the guests who wanted to bring someone actually call you and ask you first? How did you respond?
Post # 3
I had only one person do this at my wedding, and it was a male. No calls or anything first. I was a little shocked when I met her for the first time at my wedding!
Post # 4
Interesting. Thus far we’ve had several children added that weren’t invited but as far as uninvited plus ones, there have only been two … and they’re both female and they’re both related to Fiance. We do have several single men that we’ve invited but thus far, we haven’t gotten ANY of their RSVPs back. So which is worse – RSVP’ing with an uninvited guest or not RSVP’ing at all? I’ll tell you the answer to that when our RSVP deadline comes and goes.
Post # 5
I didn’t have this problem, luckily.
BUT, I have noticed that the guests who didn’t send or bring a card (or a gift, but we said no gifts necessary so I don’t care about that) were all men. I just think most men, unfortunately, weren’t raised to understand that when someone gets married, you give them a card with your well-wishes. I’ve also never in my life received a thank-you note from a man – only from women.
Edit: My one no-show was also a man. >:( (Well, technically a couple, since I invited him along with his wife, but he’s the one that I know.) No card from him, either!
Post # 6
@mightywombat: I don’t remember ever getting a thank you card from a man…but I have seen a few times when a man has sent them, and the situation is always remarkable because of how rarely it happens, lol!
Post # 7
I know plenty of women who would break this rule of thumb. But in general, it’s mostly men.
Post # 8
My (female) cousin added her boyfriend to her RSVP and my aunt gave her hell about it after she found out, lol. I was okay with it because he’s her boyfriend, not just a date, and if I’d known she was seeing someone I would have added him to the invite anyway.
My BIL invited a date and told us after the fact, but she ended up not being able to make it anyway. We were a bit miffed about that one since they weren’t officially “together” at the time.
Post # 9
We had one female friend and one male friend ask and honestly it was fine. They were in relationships that were somewhat serious, but had begun after we made our guest list. We were happy to tell them both it was OK to bring their SO.
I don’t think that men are necessarily ruder than women. Maybe I am just super rude – because my fiance is always more polite than I am.
Post # 10
Men *don’t KNOW* this is ‘break the rules’
Post # 12
we had a guy try to do this at our wedding, and I will admit that I was guilty of doing this at a relative’s wedding when I was 18 and didn’t know better (still not an excuse).
I think more guys do this because generally people want a plus one and might even expect it, and guys might be more up front about it if they don’t get one, whereas most women, even if not given one, realize it’s a faux pas to ask for one. Guys are just clueless – they just figure the bride doesn’t care who is there, but I think women get it and can sympathize with not wanting random guests.