Do most couples have an engagement party???

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
37 posts
Newbee

My mom wanted to throw a little engagement party, only close family (parents, grandparents, aunts, unlces, cousins). I specifically asked no one to bring gifts – I didn’t want it to see gift grabby. And I had never been to an engagement party/known of anyone to have one before. We just wanted to get people together for light snacks and drinks. Not a lot of people showed up and it seemed like more stress than it was worth. If I could redo it, I’d just go out to eat with immediate family to keep it simple.

Post # 3
Member
938 posts
Busy bee

We had one, but that was because we also just moved in to our house at that time and made it an Engagement Party/House Warming. I also opted out of having a bridal shower because of the engagement pary. We got a lot of gifts and I did want to look like I was looking for more. We had a shorter engagement (8 months) so I felt it would have been too much.

Post # 4
Member
961 posts
Busy bee

We didn’t, but I kind of wish we had : /

We had dinner with a few couples we are close with, but they get together once a month or so anyway.

 

It would have just been nice tO have the experience, since once we get married the fuss is over 

Post # 5
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee

We did brunch with immediate family the weekend after we got engaged.  I called that our engagement party.  My brother had a little cocktail party at a bar.  His friends bought appetizers, everyone bought their own drinks.  I don’t think engagement parties are usually big gift giving events.  The only gift we received was some bridal magazines.  I didn’t get my brother and his then fiance anything but I think some people gave them wine and champagne. 

I think its fine if you want to celebrate but keep it to close family and close friends. 

Editing to add:  Other than my own and celebrating my brother getting engaged I’ve only ever been to one other engagement party and I’ve been to probably 25 weddings.  I think some other people probably had them but limited them to close family.

 

Post # 6
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I only know 2 or 3 people who have ever had an engagement party. I think most people do not. (I didn’t.)

Post # 7
Member
249 posts
Helper bee

I know one couple that had one, it was really cute and low key, backyard bbq type setting. We didn’t have one but we did go out to a fancy schmancy steakhouse with FI’s parents to celebrate.

Post # 8
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

I’d say it’s about 50/50 where I’m from. I didn’t have one because it just seemed like one more thing to organize, but they can be a fun way to celebrate with your friends and family. You can keep it informal and request ‘no gifts’ so it’s comes across more just an excuse to all get together, rather than making people celebrate YOU incessently. 

Post # 9
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Engagement parties are not very popular in my circle of friends, but I had one.  My FI planned it the night we got engaged.  I was told we were meeting friends for a birthday (which is not out of the norm for us) but my FI instead had a bunch of our friends at the restaurant to congratulate us after he proposed.  It was so sweet and I was very overwhelmed.  We didn’t receive any gifts but we got a bunch of cards.

I had 2 bridal showers – which are the norm with my friends.  We had 2 because FI’s family lives out of state so we traveled there for it.  They were thrown by our moms, which I know is technically against etiquette, but it’s also the norm in my area.

Post # 10
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee

I only know of two couples who had one. One was lebanese and weddings are customarily very large and formal, so she had the works. The other has a long engagement, so they decided to have a party that they hosted. Unless you really want to have one and plan to host (aka pay for it), I wouldn’t have one personally.

Post # 11
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I only know 1 person who has had an engagement party and even then it was more like a big get together with thier wedding party to officially ask them to be in the wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

sunnierdaysahead2 :  mom’s throwing showers is against etiquette? I had no clue haha. I’m having 2 as well because our family’s are 6 hours apart. The moms are throwing both. 

Post # 13
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

We had one because its custom in my culture and also since our engagement is 3 years long. If we had only a 1 year engagement then we most likely wouldn’t have. 

Post # 14
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

bridetobespring2018 :  we had a small engagement party and got like 2 gifts (which I fully didn’t expect). It was very low key. Our engagement is also over a year long though, so the engagement party and bridal shower were very far apart. 

Post # 15
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I didn’t!  We made our announcements and had a few casual dinners with close friends and family.  After some thought, it just did not feel right to throw one after having already gotten together with loved ones.   

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