(Closed) Do mothers and fathers have different roles?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ll bite 🙂

In my family (DH and I) our roles when we have children will be:

Father-DH: He’ll be expected to change diapers, permitting i’m able to breastfeed, help with keeping the house clean, helping feed when we get to baby food/if I can’t BF, and helping with bathtime.

Mother-Me: I’ll feed, dress and change baby, help with bath time and go to doctor visits, etc.

On the emotional front, i’m expecting myself to be doing 90% of the teaching and playing because I hope to be home a LOT more than DH because I want to be a SAHM, at least part-time. DH will be my moral support haha

Post # 4
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think some of it is cultural and “that’s how s/he was brought up”. As such, for some families, it makes perfect sense to have dad as the disciplinarian bc that’s how they were brought up. In other families, moms are always the disciplinarians bc that’s how that culture is. We know some people like this and it works for them. They both like the sense of tradition.

To some extent, however, because we are rational human beings, we also can dictate “roles” in our families and I think this has to do with personality. FI is naturally much better at enforcing rules and whatnot than I am not because we deemed him to be “the father/the man of the house” but because he’s the type of person that follows rules and I’m not (more of the “eh, whatever” type). However, he is much more empathetic and better at the emotional mushy stuff than I am. So despite being a disciplinarian, I expect that our children will also turn to him when they just want a shoulder to cry on since that’s not really in my nature.

Post # 5
5756 posts
Bee Keeper

Of course they do, and most of that is dictated by temperment and personalities. Think about your own parents and how you were raised. Was Mom the shoulder to cry on or the pushover, and Dad was the more strict and enforcer of the rules? Was Dad more easy going and easier to talk to and was Mom more judgemental or critical?

Families evolve over time, and it really becomes more noticeable when school begins. My husband did all the math and I helped with Science and English…whatever we were better at is what we did. We were both athletic, so sports was a joint effort.

Every person in a family finds their niche and fulfills a role. It takes time to develop them, tho, and they are constantly changing throughout the growing years.

Post # 6
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ItWasntMe:  Well said! Esp. Every person in a family finds their niche and fulfills a role.

Post # 7
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

DH and I have different roles, that we have morphed into that work for us.  He is the chauffer (taking DD to trumpet lessons) and does homework.  I bathe the baby and feed her most often.  He gets up with her during the night.

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