Do Opposites Attract?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
3666 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

FutureMrsHodgy:  FI and I are very similar. We have very similar personalities and senses of humor, but we do have some different interests. We also have similar priorities in life. 

I think that more similar people generally make better partners, but I do think it is possible to make it work being very different as long as your core values are similar. 

Post # 3
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My SO and I are very similar as far as our interests, but very different as far as our habits/personalities.  I’m very organized and on-top of things, while he is more relaxed.  It’s been a good balance, because he can easily handle my sometimes controlling personalities, but we’ve had to adjust to each others’ habits to know how to react in certain situations.

However, be both love our time at home, we love hockey, we’ve adopted each others’ interests… such as my sudden addiction to MMA.  We both love trying new food/delicious food, acoustic music, and our view on our future together (although we started in 100% different places) have grown to be very similar.

Post # 4
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My fiancé and I are similar where it counts (goals, outlook on life, expectations), but different enough that things are still interesting. We share some interests but also each have our own separate interests that keep us occupied. I would say overall, we are more alike than different. Our relationship is successful because we enjoy spending time together and doing the same things, but also support eachother in our differences. Also we have the same sense of humor. Love that!

Post # 5
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureMrsHodgy:  I prefer to be with someone who I have a lot in common with. However, I don’t think it’s that important that you have similar hobbies and interests (since these things can change), but I do think it’s important that you’re a similar “type” of person (since I think this rarely changes). 

FI and I are very alike in a lot of important ways. We have similar world views, similar future goals, we want the same kind of life. We have the same types of priorities. Neither of us has a bad temper, neither of us is big on fighting- we’re both quick to compromise. We’re both thinkers, and while we have some different interests, we have a lot of common interests as well. We are definitely more alike than different. 

The area where we are most different is our strengths, which I actually always wanted in a partner. I think it’s smart to have different strengths, because as a couple you come out ahead. My FI is a math major, he’s very calm, he can build/fix anything, he’s super tidy, he’s great at arranging spaces so that they work well, he’s a much harder worker than I am, and he’s super motivated. But, he doesn’t plan ahead, he doesn’t like doing knit picky budgeting or comparison shopping- but I do. I am much better at long-term planning, budgeting, investing, and researching. 

We’ve moved a lot of times, I’m always the one doing the research, finding the new place, and getting a good deal. He’s the one who can figure out how to pack all of our possessions into a small car, build shelves, paint, and make any space we choose livable. 

It’s the best of both worlds. 

Post # 6
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You could say my husband and I are opposites. We have different personality traits but really balance each other out. I could not be with someone who is as controlling or sensitive as me…. 

Over time though, we’ve become really similar with the way we talk, our sense of humor, the things we like, how we react to certain situations, etc. I think that sort of happens when you’ve been with someone for so long.

Post # 7
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

DH & I are more opposite in terms of our personality.  He’s outspoken, I’m introverted; he tends to be idealistic, I’m more realistic.

We have very similar views & life goals though which is important & I think we otherwise ‘balance’ each other out well!

On a side note, DH & I have been told twice that we look similar/could be siblings ..super weird haha.  We’re not related 😉

Post # 8
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

FutureMrsHodgy:  FI and I are very similar in our beliefs, hobbies and certain ways on how we were raised. BUT with our personalities, they’re very different. I’m a very aggressive personality, and he is nothing close to that. I think it works well because he can calm me down, but I can also push him to stand up for himself in certain situations. Everyone in my family says we’re a perfect match because we’re opposites.

Post # 9
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

stephanie091512:  Haha, that’s so funny- FI and I get told ALL THE TIME that we look like siblings. We joke that it’s because we’re both so vain that we ended up with the male/female version of ourselves. 

Post # 10
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think similarities are important in most things. You just have to have similar core values, ways of viewing money, spirituality, etc.

But, I don’t think similarities are important with the superficial every day routines such as hobbies, personal tastes and preferences, etc.

Post # 11
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We are similar in some ways but also opposite in others. We have the same/similar core beliefs, values, ways of living and I think that’s important. 

Post # 12
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t say we are opposites, more like complements. His different way of doing things and thinking about things actually helps me in ways I never considered before we met. 

Post # 13
Member
4797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FutureMrsHodgy:  My first husband was pretty the opposite of me. When I was going through the divorce, a few people told me they didn’t know how we ever ended up together in the first place. I was pretty surprised! So when talking to my mom and sort of lamenting the whole thing I brought it up and I said, “Opposites attract!” And she said, “But they don’t stay together.” And I was like, “Why didn’t you tell me THAT part before!” Lol!

LET ME ADD IN HERE BEFORE ANYONE FREAKS OUT ON ME that I’m sure it’s different for everyone. I’m sure marriages can last 100 years if you are opposites, it just didn’t for me. And I have found someone who is such a better match for me now!

Post # 14
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

We have our differences, like he’s extrovert, I’m introvert, he’s a doormat, I can be pushy etc but this helps us balance. We certainly share the things that matter,like beliefs and values. Our friends say we’re perfect for each other  

Butterfly6:  I agree 100%

Post # 15
Member
6592 posts
Bee Keeper

We have some differences, but FI and I are extremely compatible and have similar outlooks on life. Even though “opposites attract” is a popular saying, I think having commonalities, especially on fundamental issues, makes a relationship function more smoothly.

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