Do parents have a "favourite?"

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do parents have a "favourite?"
    Yes, of course, but they don't treat their children differently : (18 votes)
    16 %
    Yes, of course, and sometimes they do treat their children differently : (58 votes)
    50 %
    Yes, but the "favourite" can change as life evolves and new life phases are entered : (25 votes)
    22 %
    No, of course not, that's terrible : (15 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yes.  Fiancee’s brother is the favourite.  He does nothing wrong even though is he a short tempered cheater. 

    My brother is the favourite. Even though he is a jobless hobo living off my parents. 

    Post # 4
    1771 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I can’t really answer the poll because I don’t think all families can be described by one blanket statement. Every family is different.

    My mom used to tell me I was her favorite. But she treated us all the same. I’m not the favorite anymore, though, I’m currently in the doghouse because of the wedding.

    I haven’t really seen any evidence of favoritism in any other families I know. Most of them only have one child, though.

    Post # 5
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  I am so, so so my mums favourite! I am the little girl, I am my mum and dad’s only “together” daughter (mum has two daughters 10 and 13 years older than me from a previous marriage) and Im the youngest of all 5 siblings. Everyone knows Im the favourite, mum and I are just close, we get along, and to be honest Im the only child who hasn’t “used” her in any way (money, gifts, other things I wont go into)

    I can’t tell with my dad, we didn’t live with him for long and we don’t see him much. But he does tell me a lot of deeply personal things, I have seen him cry and he’s paying $10,000 towards our ($8,000) wedding. Its hard to tell, but I think I might be a favourite from the way he really opens up to me, like an equal, not a child.

    I also have favourite nieces/nephews. But that said, I have never treated them differently in any way, because I know they get favouritism from other places and I feel like its my job as their loving aunt to make them all feel equal. I know, bit weird, but I love them like my own children 🙂

    Post # 7
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  My mom has always said that she loves both of us the same, but differently. There are things she likes to do more with my sister (such as hiking, going to the beach, taking dogs on a walk, etc) and things she likes to do with me more (shopping, cooking, etc). My sister is not a city person, so every year my mom and I take at least one, if not two, trips to NYC. On the other hand, I’m a vegetarian, and so my mom and sister usually go to the beach once a year and live off huge steam buckets of crab and clams. 

    She’s also said that she’ll go through phases where she gets along better with one than the other. Currently, her and I are closer. But in the past, my sister and her have been closer. But I honestly believe she doesn’t have a favorite. 

    Post # 8
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  I’m with you. I am my dad’s favourite. I know it, my siblings know it and my mother too. My brother is my mother’s favorite and us siblings know. In both cases, it’s because my mother and father identify most closely with one of the four of us. I do not feel any resentment towards my mother for this but I’m wondering if that’s because I’m my dad’s favorite. Not sure.

    I do have a favorite nephew. He’s the sweetest and while I do spend the same amount of money on them, I enjoy spending my time with one nephew the most. Ooooo… just thinking about him warms my heart.

    I have a favorite soon-to-be stepchild and a favorite soon-to-be step-grandchild. It’s just how it works I guess. I dunno. I don’t set out to determine favorites but over time, I’ve aligned with certain family members best.

    Post # 9
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My parents do not have a favorite.  Sure, I made life easier for them by getting an office job, living in state, and getting married…compared to my brother who is persuing a music career in NYC.  But I can say with 100% confidence they do not have a favorite.

    My DH’s parents clearly have a favorite – and its his sister and they make it very obvious!  Its really sad.

    Post # 10
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I’m the favorite with my dad. I’m the only girl, and I’m the youngest, so he was always a sucker for me. We get along well and have a sweet bond. I’m sure my brothers know it.

    I think it’s often true in families that there are favorites. It doesn’t mean you don’t love a kid less, but it does mean there is a child whom you click with more and enjoy their company more. It’s so taboo, but I really think it’s common.

    Post # 11
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m the favorite, but they are still crazy about my brother! It’s not a bad thing. I’m just closer to them than he is because I make the effort to keep up (we both live kind of far from home). I think my brother was the favorite when we were very small. He was very outgoing and I was extremely introverted.

    Post # 12
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I wouldn’t say I am the favorite but I do get along better with my parents.  It makes my sister mad sometimes that “everyone likes me more”.  But its not for a lack of trying.  If I went around believing that I had the right to let everyone know exactly what I thought of them no one would like me either! 


    My mom babies my youngest brother who is 11 years younger than me.  I don’t think he’s really her favorite I think she is just clinging to motherhood all the while doing him no favors in the long run.

    Post # 13
    5935 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My parents don’t really have a favorite. My mom treats me and my brother exactly the same. Although, I know she appreciates how I’m “the good child” LOL. I guess I’m my dad’s favorite but that’s because I’m his only child.

    My FI’s mother favors his older brother. Although, I think it’s more out of “pity”. She feels like he needs the extra love because his confidence isn’t as high. It’s annoying. FI’s dad doesn’t treat either differently, although he has more in common with my FI than the brother.

    Post # 14
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My FI is the middle child and even though he doesn’t think he’s the favorite – his brother and sister are convinced he is the favorite.  I think he is too, how could he not be?! Wink


    Though the FMIL and FFIL make bigger deals when FI’s brother come into town it seems like they favor the FI.  He’s quiet and always looking out for their best interest, doesn’t seem to take advantage of them, etc….


    Plus his name is his mom’s password for everything lol

    I’m an only child and first grand daughter who is local to the grandparents so we know I’m the favorite in my family.

    Post # 15
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsPanda99:  I don’t know about favorite, but my parents went in spurts with my brother becuase he is a Marine and was serving, so for a few years it was all about my brother even though I did SO much for them. Then when he would come home he was still the golden child even though he wouldn’t help them with anything or spend time with them. My mom even told me at one point that my brother was more important because he was a military man. They have 3 walls in their house decorated with pictures of him while I have 2 pics up on the wall.

    So it feels like he is their favorite sometimes, but honestly if it came down to which one of us would be there for our parents I would definitely win golden child of the millenium.

    Post # 16
    8390 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  I’m an only child, so I’m just following this because I find it fascinating.  I don’t plan on having children and none of my friends have children.

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