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is there any way that you could get a shuttle or car service for them or buy a parking pass for your guests? i don't think it is the urban setting, but rather the amount of money they are spending to be a part of your day....
Are these out of town guests? Or far-flung suburbanites who don't come into the city? I have been to a few weddings in a major city and always been fine, as have the other guests, if that's what they're used to. I do remember how I got funny looks when I moved to Ohio and would ask people about parking at whatever restaurant.
If your wedding is on 9/12, don't worry about this now!! See if you can designate someone to help people gather into groups to split cabs. That's probably easiest!
We could get a shuttle, but it's so much money compared to the costs of taking cabs. Like, more than 10 times the cost. I know it's hard to be asked to spend a lot of money on someone's wedding, but it also would seem strange to me to pay upwards of $500 (at minimum) for a 5 minute bus ride over 5 blocks.
Cities have more options for hotels than small towns! Regarding the transportation, a half mile walk (what, like four blocks?) in September may be nice. I think your guests are complaining too much; they'd probably make an issue out of any location.
i agree with ETwedding, i.e. your guests complaining too much. maybe it's just me, but (barring nudity and any kind of illegal acts), i usually go along with whatever the couple chooses in regards to their wedding. urban. country. beach. done. done. and done. no complaints. remember, while it's important to take your guests' comforts into consideration, you can't please all of the people all of the time.
Oh man, I feel you - we're totally getting some of this, and Minneapolis isn't even that large of a city. Our stuff isn't even downtown! We have a shuttle for people at the hotel to go everywhere! Parking is free at BOTH the ceremony and reception and we are STILL getting anxious guests. Some people just don't like going into cities. My FI's family is all from rural WI and they're complaining (in a really nice way) about different t hings almost every time I see them. I feel bad about it, but we've lived here for years, we love it, and we wanted to have our wedding here - not at his hometown church in the middle of nowhere.
Anyway. I just wanted to reiterate that no matter what, some people will just be a little antsy about it and find something to be unhappy about. It's too bad that those people won't just stay home if they hate the idea of an urban area so much :)
I love urban weddings. There is something so chic about them. Some guests may feel intimidated by a big city, I know I feel more stressed out going to a new place when it is a big city, it feels like there are more ways to get lost. And I live in Los Angeles. Almost all of that stress is transportantion related; driving, parking, getting from the airport. I agree that if you can find ways to facilitate getting people from one place to another, they might be more comfortable. Bu that isn't really your responsibility, and people will manage.
I'll comment as a girl that has spent her life in small town midwest America so far! I think people that aren't used to big cities find it exhausting because they aren't used to that sort of lifestyle. I find it stressful driving in metro areas, finding places and where to park, I feel uncomfortable if the hotel is really nice, ect. Public transportation in my smaller city is much different than a metro area. I've never hailed a cab..you don't take cabs here...you drive yourself (because pub. transit isn't too great) or take the bus when you can (which is nice and clean). I might find that slightly intimidating.They might worry about safety after dark in an unfamiliar place.
I'm just guessing, but that's what I imagine they are thinking about. I don't think you have to go out of your way to accomodate your out of town guests. If I really had a problem with the location I probably just wouldn't go and keep it to myself.
Also, costs in the city, even if they seem reasonable to you, seem really high often to me because I'm accustomed to much lower cost of living. That might be an issue.
I know my partner is pretty freaked out by big cities. He gets stressed even driving through San Francisco and always marvels at the way I navigate cities. If your guests aren't from a city, I can see them feeling very uncomfortable... especially if they are driving in. You know how it is looking for a parking spot downtown. It can be a frazzling experience.
Do the hotels they are staying at have downtown shuttles? Is there a way you can take advantage of that?
What about including parking tickets for guests who rsvp? A friend of mine is doign this and it's very gracoius
That being said...i've traveled to a lot of big cities and parking for DINNER is a normal occurance. Whatever, not a dealbreaker. They're being crabby
Could you negotiate for a "lot rate" perhaps?
I love urban weddings because they are usually closer to an airport, and have lots of things to do nearby, but I can see how some people might feel overwhelmed if they are not city people. Some of my older relatives would get nervous having to take a cab, or just trying to find their way around a big city that they aren't familiar with. The best thing you can do is try to provide them with the most complete information you can, and when the wedding comes they will discover it wasn't as hard as they thought.
I want to clarify my suggestion because I know how awkward it is to hail a cab, talk to the driver, or even worry about getting into one, much less doing all that in wedding clothes! I also know this is about the last thing you want to hear people griping about when you're 2 weeks out.
If you have someone to help guests who want to take cabs hail the cab and put 3-4 people in each, that will help both with splitting the cost and making what to do more evident. People who aren't used to riding in cabs will feel more comfortable, and your helper can tell the driver where to drop them.
If it's 5 blocks, that can be a great stroll for some people or a real bear for others who can't walk as well or aren't familiar with the area, don't feel safe, etc.
In your situation, I'd be most concerned about helping guests move from ceremony to reception rather than worrying about them coming into the city and parking in the first place. If you focus your efforts on that, you can decide whether you're able to swing some cash to cover their cab fare.
@ Mrs.DG - I got in an airport shuttle at a downtown hotel in Philly and it ended up costing $22. The fare wasn't posted - yikes, an unpleasant surprise!
I am having my wedding smack in the middle of downtown dallas. I am having all cars valet for the guest who are driving. For the guests staying at the nearby hotel, I am having a shuttle bring them over. So that kind of takes care of everything. :)
I live in the middle of a big city and I still don't particularly like urban weddings. They don't make me nervous or stressed out, it's just that I think most cities are kind of ugly...so completely personal preference. It would definitely freak my parents out, though, since they live in the middle of nowhere and hate driving into the city even to see me. They always stay at a hotel in the 'burbs, and if they come to my place I have to go out there, meet them, and drive them in. I don't think it would stop them from attending a city wedding but they definitely wouldn't like doing it.
My wedding is about 1/2 hour outside the city, and they made me get a room block in the suburbs so they wouldn't have to come to the city at all. The rest of the fam is staying out there, too. Sigh.
I LOVE urban weddings.
It's the suburban and in-the-sticks weddings I hate.
Nothing to do. Food is usually mediocre. The cake is never good. (I love terrific cake.)
I think the gal who told you to make transport arrangements between ceremony and reception gave great advice.
Non-urban people are usually shocked at big city prices. Perhaps you could have a party at one relatives hourse in the boonies a few months later for these people? You could wear your wedding dress during dinner, then change into something else for the rest of the evening. Women love seeing wedding gowns. Or do a day thing and just bring pics of the dress and ceremony. (They might feel bad seeing they missed out on a great reception.)
Almost time to say Congratulations!
We were considering getting married in downtown Baltimore, but once we factored in parking costs and other increased expenses, we moved our wedding to the suburbs!
I think Urban weddings are great - and I grew up in a small town in MN but now live in Chicago. I feel that people are most likely scared to drive in a big city - I know my Mom gets nervous driving through the Cities - I was driving her up there as soon as I had my permit! :) Is there anyway you can give people the option of parking at the hotel and walking to/from the ceremony with maybe a 'leader' to show them the way? Maybe say "meet in the lobby at 1:30 to walk to the church together - look for Pat; everyone will be meeting after the ceremony to walk back together." or something like that. 5 blocks to and fro shouldn't be too painful in heels!
i love (!) urban weddings. mine will be in the heart of DC, so i understand about the parking. my reception location is on a swanky block with all the five star hotels, so there is absolutely no nearby affordable parking. we have to pay for the hotel to vallet park our guest's cars, and at $20 per car, we aren't happy about it. good luck, and if people gripe about city parking, just tell them about the great food they'll be eating, and they'll shut up :)
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it! If you've already outlined where to park, expected costs, and alternative transportation ideas...I really don't know what else you can do!
Thanks everyone for your suggestions. It's so funny how 8 months ago when we picked this spot, we thought it would be so easy for everyone, people would like being close to the hotel and not having to worry about driving home after the reception. Wedding planning can be so complicated!
People that aren't from/live in cities just get freaked out by them. Me and FI have been living in NYC for four years. His brother has visited once. His parents have visited twice. They are terrified to get into a cab or traverse so much as an avenue.
There's nothing wrong with urban weddings and yours sounds great to me! I'd love to get married in NYC if it wasn't for the cost :o(
I live in NYC too and our parents very rarely come to visit - his never, my Mom about once a year. They hate big cities.
Of course, we are getting married in center city Philadelphia, but it will be so easy for everyone as all they have to do is get to the hotel. The church is connected to the hotel and the reception is in the hotel. Very easy. I can see guests getting annoyed if they aren't cool with cities in the 1st place and your stuff is all in different locations. Consider getting some kind of shuttle bus or trolly to make it easy - even if it already is.
ModernDaisy: That's too bad about your parents! Mine actually visit all the time, but they're younger and feel comfortable in the city. My mom works in homeless housing (sometimes in the city) so the UES is nothing compared to the neighborhoods she works in. And my sister visits often as well.
I feel bad that FI's family never visits but there's kind of nothing we can do :o(
dont stress over it. I live in NYC, and my step-cousin got married here. For me, it was no biggie. Id hop in a cab, take the cab from the UES to times square-ish and walk the 10 blocks (half mile) to the reception site. But those from out of town, regardless if they were suburbanites or from a different, larger city, were very uptight about this. "how will I get where Im going?! I have to walk half a mile? How far is 10 blocks? Do I HAVE to get on the subway?! Where do I tell a cab to go? Its a huge city, what if I walk the wrong directoin? Is it dangerous? Its so expensive there!" and blah blah blah. Finally I snapped at one of them, "you're stressing the bride out, figure out your concerns on your own time" and they took teh not so subtle hint. Its just a foreign area to them where they cannot simply rely on their GPS. And associating "big city=$$$$" is a huge thought in peoples minds. I' reiterate that while nearby parking and lodging IS available, guests are welcomed and even encouraged to seek out their own deals.
KellyV: Love love love your response! Also, we're neighbors :o)
I tihnk that urban weddings can be a lot of fun, but I do kind of understand people's concerns about having to get between the two sites. Half a mile is fine on a fun day, but at night in stiletto's it's kind of hard. And I dont' know how many guests you have, but if tehre a lot it might take a while for them to get cabs and get over to the other place. I know it sounds like a lot of money compared to cab fare, but I would really recommend getting a shuttle.
I love urban weddings! I think they are so interesting and the vendors are usually more creative. If I were invited to your wedding, I would take full stock of my expenses and personal comfort level when I'm determining whether to attend. I wouldn't pester you with concerns of walking one block. A shuttle would be a sweet thing for you to do, but ... I'm not really sympathetic to people who can't figure out buses / trains / driving. Maybe that's because I came from a larger city, though.
I LOVE them. I'm in the opposite situation... ours is rural... so much so that even though it's 30-40 min from downtown, cabs will not come out there. I kid you not. So I figure, with an urban area- you are never stranded. You are never far from a post-wedding bar or a taxi to take your drunk uncle back to the hotel. It's more pricey, but it's the price you pay for convenience! They can shush themselves, especially since this is what YOU chose for YOUR wedding!
@hotchildinthecity - you are UES as well?! Fun! We're on 74th and 2nd. Love our neghborhood 
BTW evenry time I see your name, it makes me think of the Sex and the City Episode titled "Hot Child in the City." lol Random I know
And how weird that we're both living on the UES and getting maried in CNY...small world!
This is a great thread...I am getting married in downtown Milwaukee and a lot of our guests have expressed the same concerns...and I don't even think of Milwaukee as that big! Thanks for all of these great ideas, ladies...it definitely helps me feel less stressed about explaining to our guests how to get around.
KellyV: I'm on 72nd and York! We've been in the nabe for three years and we love it!
Yes, my username is sort of after that episode! I love the song, and I live in the city (and love it), but I also love that episode when she throws the fried chicken!!
I love urban weddings!! I think you're doing as much as you can to accommodate your guests. I think people are just scared of the unknown. If you clearly outline parking, I think they'll be fine!
I grew up in a small town, so most of my relatives are not very familiar with or comfortable in cities. I think the fears are (1) safety (they often aren't really aware that most cities are perfectly safe for vast stretches of blocks -- I think they're worried they'll turn a corner and happen upon a drug bust), (2) feeling out of place (they often seem to think that cities are fancier, so they won't be dressed appropriately or w/e); (3) dealing w/ the unknown (e.g., hailing a cab, valet parking, tipping bellman, etc.); (4) driving (which is pretty understandable); (5) expense (in almost every way, cities are more expensive, especially with respect to hotels, parking and food).
So sure, there are reasons to be concerned, but that said, I prefer urban weddings because (1) I know my hotel options will be better, (2) transportation options are better (no worries about drinking and driving), (3) usually easier to get to (no 4 hours drive from the airport, no need to rent a car); and (4) more interesting stuff to do while I'm there. So don't feel bad -- there are pros and cons to both.
I love urban weddings with adequate public transportation or easy access to cabs. Los Angeles is always a hot mess as far as timing, because of traffic and driving, and the fact that there is little public trasportation. But weddings I've been to in SF have always been a breeze! It's a little harder for the out of towners... if they rent a car, parking is usually $60 a day and then they have to valet at the hotels for the weddings, and it ends up being $$$$$!
hotchildinthecity-woahhh we really are neighbors! I walk my dog up and down york a lot (he knows that York takes him to the parks-one at gracie mansion and one at 60 something-th.) too funny! Too bad the NYC bee meetup is on my wedding day...we should put another one together at one of the local bars/restaurants by us!
That episode is the best. "WAIT! WAIT! She cant see the chicken everywhere! Shes gonna know we were..." hahahah
@KellyV: I'm sure I've seen you and your dog 10000 times. I always pay extra attention to people and their dogs because I'm a bigtime animal lover!
I'm going to be out of town for the NYC bee meetup...it would be awesome if we had something on the good old UES :o)
I think urban weddings are great! If renting a shuttle would be 10 times more money than people taking cabs, perhaps you could offer to pay for the cab rides for people who really need to take a cab (elderly, disabled, etc)? As others have suggested, have someone at the exit helping those who need assistance into cabs and someone at the other end to pay for them?
IMHO, just let them gripe and try not to let it bother you. Sure, we have some guests who have spent their whole lives in the middle of nowhere and are a bit nervous, but they'll be okay! Last year, I had to go the middle of nowhere Michigan and I didn't know what I was doing at all, but I didn't complain! Some people just want to complain about weddings. I think they'll be fine!
Hi All - love this discussion. In two (very short) weeks, we will be getting married in the heart of downtown Boston (in the building where the Declaration of Independence was read for the first time and where the Boston massacre happened - both funny ironies for a wedding, no?). We have gotten a twinge of this anxiety - but mostly over hotel costs. Understandable, without a doubt. To try and reduce as much anxiety as possible, my partner and I put EXTENSIVE information about everything on our website and sent it to people waaaaaaay ahead of time. There are hotels organized by price range and with the distance from the venue by stops on the subway, maps, restaurants organized by price and cuisine and direction from the venue, lists of parking garages with rates and distance from the venue, etc. It seems to have really, really cut down on confusion and anxiety!
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I'm doing my ceremony and reception in the center of a major city, and some of our guests don't seem very happy about coming here. They don't like the hotels nearby, and have expressed concern about getting from the ceremony to the reception. The two events are about a half-mile apart. Neither place has free parking, but both have lots nearby and the rates are not too excessive (under $10). Other options are walking or taking a cab, which is less than $5. We got a block at a hotel nearby, which is a reasonable price considering the location, and I figured that if people were looking for a lower-cost option, they would want to find something on their own in a different location. Realistically, would you be annoyed as a guest about doing this? It's good for people who won't be driving, because everything is close by. I know that some people are not able to walk that distance, but is it rude to expect people to take a cab?