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Yeah.
Invite who you want to invite, and don't mention that you can only invite your 200 closest friends.
In an office like that, though, you might consider inviting your coworkers. Even if you aren't friends outside of work, you spend how much time together every day? I don't know your circumstance, but that's something to consider.
Ugh, we had people do that, too. We're having a small wedding though (invited about 100, expecting about 75-80), so we simply told people, "We would have loved to invite everyone, but our venue can't accomodate a lot of people, so we're keeping it to family and very close friends only." If you use the "seating limitations" excuse, people really can't complain.
As far as coworkers go, even if you work in a small office, I wouldn't invite them. I also work in a small office, so obviously, we're probably closer than some people who work in bigger offices. I considered inviting some, but then got real with myself. One, I didn't want to deal with inviting some people, and hurting the people's feelings I didn't invite. And two, honestly, if I left this job tomorrow, I probably wouldn't remain friends with these people. I like them and everything, but we're really not that close. If, however, you hang out with coworkers outside work, and you do in fact, consider them good friends, then, obviously consider inviting them :)
That sucks I know what you mean my mothers coworkers are saying things like that to her about my wedding!? These are people I've met twice tops and they keep saying things like I cant wait for the wedding. We are having a small destination wedding so I can use the close family and friends excuse. good luck! Invite who you want don't fork out more cash for extra ppl you might not want there.
This is never fun at all!!! I went to a very small high school then went away to college in Florida--I have not really kept up with highschool friends because honestly I was one of the few people who left the state for college...then the big day people found out I was engaged!!!
Everyone started asking me about when the wedding was and where and all these other questions about my wedding to my mom---I was like no offense mom but honestly I'm not coming back home for the wedding--nor will I be inviting them...she was fine with this of course however those "friends" from home I am sure are still waiting for their invite in the mail....
Oh well invite who you want to be ther eon your special day not those people you think you should invite...its your day!
It's happened to us. We let people know we were keeping it as small as we could. We have sent out invites and are still sending second rounds because our parents continue to add people. We've also started to avoid certain people who are persistant...like people who are close friends with my BIL but not with us...who have just assumed they are on the list. Anyway, it's been a little werid here and there to have people invite themselves.
Yes-- even my dentist! We want to keep the wedding small, with about 100-125 in attendance, but the current guest list is pushing 200. (That is also without my parents' list). I need to be more cut-throat!
LOL - We have 75 invites. However, a lot of our mutual friends got cut from that list because obviously family and long time friends came first, rather than our drinking acquintances, etc. One woman, when she found out, ask how much it was per person and offered to pay double that as a gift to us in order to come to our wedding - seriously! People honestly dont understand limits on guest lists and perhaps not just budget, but personal preferences of people to keep the guest list down rather than a mass production or show of a wedding.
wow Ms Guava-tini thats pretty funny someone offered to pay to go to your wedding lol
Yes, the security guard in the building where I work has been dropping <span style="text-decoration: underline;">serious hints about coming to the wedding. He keeps telling me about other weddings he's going to. I like him, but unfortunately, I can't put him on the list. Another blantant hint from a co-worker: "I had a dream I was at your wedding last night."
Other people drop hints like, oh, September of this year? In a "it's so strange I never got my invitation" tone of a voice. With those people, I try to make the wedding sound very small and strange, like we are part of some unusual religion.
Yes! Even our real estate agent invited himself. LOL
Be careful though. Months ago a casual friend of a friend invited herself to our wedding then yesterday, I received an RSVP on our wedding website with her name on it! She's going as someone's 'plus one' when we didn't even address the invite to say that he was allowed to bring a guest.
those with plus ones, I would be firm and not have them yikes!
I am having a very small group only 58 so I am not inviting colleagues; we see each other every day but we dont hang out I never met anyones significant others or kids except one and he moved; I am going to keep the boundaries
I feel the same way. People hear through the grapevine that I'm engaged and they always say "I hope you plan on inviting me!"....what the? I haven't seen you in years and you don't even know my FI!
yeah my art teacher who i talk to all the time said so when is your wedding . then said ok I know i don't have to worry about a present this year. But thats ok I was totally going to invite him and his wife lol.
I just don't respond...chances are, my coworkers will get over it, and the random acquaintances will forget all about it until two years from now when I randomly run into them again.
Wow... I am glad to hear all the different tips on how to handle this situation. The biggest culprit of inviting others is my mom... which is a bit annoying as my fiance and I are footing the bill.
Here's the way I see it, if someone doesn't make an effort to keep up with me and hasn't bothered to get in contact with me in years, then it's not my responsibility to pay $50 to feed them!
With that said, before I started planning my wedding... I was a wedding crasher myself on two occassions and I feel so bad because it's so stressful to think of planning for an unknow number of guests... I have nightmares about the 4 weddings episode where the reception hall didn't have enough food to feed everyone!!
So hopefully people will stop inviting themselves... and hopefully the parents (are invited) of the cousins I didn't invite don't feel offended and not show up... because that would be bad too... expect 150 and only 100 show... the waste of food would make me just as nervous :)!!!
LOL... I just have to keep telling myself as long as i have the priest the groom and the dress... all else is fluff!
We had a lot of people do this. I think a lot of people are just hopefully that they will get invited and aren't shy about voicing it.
We have tried to be very diplomatic about saying that they aren’t all invited. We have started saying, that we would love to have the whole world there, but because of our budget and our venue we have to limit our guests to our closest friends and immediate family.
I still have some extended family and distant friends that seem to think they will be invited. We are trying to not let that make us feel bad, and feel pressured into inviting them.
When it comes down to it, we really want the people there that we can’t imagine spending our wedding day without.
peacegirl099.. totally sympathize... I tell myself that a year from now no one will care.... and if they love me... and I for whatever reason didn't invite them... they would understand and get over it...
has anyone done anything with co-workers, I am only inviting 2, my boss and a co-worker who is like a mom t ome... there are a few others who I would love to invite... but then it turns into a situation where I want to invite 30 of them... has anyone gracefully done anything with co-workers before? after? the wedding... but if it turns into a worse etiquette situation... then I don't want to deal with it.
I too am having the same problem. It comes with the territory, this and people not RSVPing LOL.
I go to a large church and people are exepcting invites to the reception. I would have over500 people to feed!!! No way.
Here are some tips I've picked up from this website before I was engaged and use them now that I am!
1-Be vaguge. Answer "when is the wedding" "June 2012". You do not have the give a specific date.
2-Claim limited space. "Our venue can only hold a certain amount so we are keeping our list to family".
3-Claim brokeness! "Our budget is very small and with cake, food, venue, favors, we have to keep it very small".
4-Keep the reception "secret". If someone asks, "its in "city name".
5-Have a day of hostess to confirm your seating chart/RSVPs to avoid party crashers.
Hope this helps! Just smile and keep it moving. Weddings bring out the bad manners in people.
@Mrs_r: that is exactly what I keep tellin myseld too.
With work, we aren't inviting anyone from my work. My FI has worked with some of his coworkers for over 10 years and they are good friends. He is inviting 3 of them. Lucky for us even if we wanted to invite everyone he works with he couldn't. They are butchers, and some people have to be at work to cut the meat and help people so not everyone can come anyway. No one seems upset. Plus they are very much the typical stereotype of what you might think of when you think of a butcher, so they aren't all into weddings and fancyness. If they don't have to go they are fine with it, which works for us.
I think that it's extremely rude for people to invite themselves to a wedding! I've seen this on Facebook recently, and it comes off pretty pathetic.
If people say this and you don't plan on inviting them, says something to set their expectation so they won't be confused for surprised when they are not invited. Say something like, "Thanks for being so excited! I am too. I wish we could invite you, but we have so many family members and long-time friends invited already, I'm not able to invite most people." Something like that.
I had the same problem when I first got engaged but I didn't let it bother me because I figured I have two years ppl will forget by that point and maybe its the excitment of it all. No i'm less than a year away and I'm running into ppl on the street or reconn"ecting with ppl on facebook and i'm getting the old "Can't wait to attend your wedding", My invitation better be in the mail", "When's my invitation gonna come" comments. I'm so caught of guard all i can do is a nervous laugh and try to get away as quickly as possible. Why would some ppl think its ok to invite themselves toa wedding. I pray no one has the heart or the balls to just show up to the wedding (it would require a lot of both since the wedding isn't even being held where I live)/ But I'm concerned about what they will say after the wedding. I need to be more upfront but its just such a hard and a very impolite topic to tackle no matter how nice you try to say NO! *sigh*
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I've only been engaged a little over 2 months, but it seems like everyone I know is inviting themselves to our wedding!
I work in a small office, only about 20 people. As soon as everyone heard the news...they all said "I can't wait for the wedding!", or "I'd better be invited!". I've even had people that I've randomly run into after not talking for a few years say "I can't wait to get the invitation!"
Our guest list is already over 200, we can't possibly add more people!
Anyone else experience this? I just found it a bit odd...
:)