Do people invite themselves to your wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yeah.

Invite who you want to invite, and don’t mention that you can only invite your 200 closest friends.

In an office like that, though, you might consider inviting your coworkers. Even if you aren’t friends outside of work, you spend how much time together every day? I don’t know your circumstance, but that’s something to consider.

Post # 4
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Ugh, we had people do that, too. We’re having a small wedding though (invited about 100, expecting about 75-80), so we simply told people, “We would have loved to invite everyone, but our venue can’t accomodate a lot of people, so we’re keeping it to family and very close friends only.” If you use the “seating limitations” excuse, people really can’t complain.

As far as coworkers go, even if you work in a small office, I wouldn’t invite them. I also work in a small office, so obviously, we’re probably closer than some people who work in bigger offices. I considered inviting some, but then got real with myself. One, I didn’t want to deal with inviting some people, and hurting the people’s feelings I didn’t invite. And two, honestly, if I left this job tomorrow, I probably wouldn’t remain friends with these people. I like them and everything, but we’re really not that close. If, however, you hang out with coworkers outside work, and you do in fact, consider them good friends, then, obviously consider inviting them 🙂

Post # 5
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

That sucks I know what you mean my mothers coworkers are saying things like that to her about my wedding!? These are people I’ve met twice tops and they keep saying things like I cant wait for the wedding. We are having a small destination wedding so I can use the close family and friends excuse. good luck! Invite who you want don’t fork out more cash for extra ppl you might not want there.

Post # 6
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

This is never fun at all!!!  I went to a very small high school then went away to college in Florida–I have not really kept up with highschool friends because honestly I was one of the few people who left the state for college…then the big day people found out I was engaged!!!

Everyone started asking me about when the wedding was and where and all these other questions about my wedding to my mom—I was like no offense mom but honestly I’m not coming back home for the wedding–nor will I be inviting them…she was fine with this of course however those “friends” from home I am sure are still waiting for their invite in the mail….

Oh well invite who you want to be ther eon your special day not those people you think you should invite…its your day! 

Post # 7
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s happened to us. We let people know we were keeping it as small as we could. We have sent out invites and are still sending second rounds because our parents continue to add people. We’ve also started to avoid certain people who are persistant…like people who are close friends with my BIL but not with us…who have just assumed they are on the list. Anyway, it’s been a little werid here and there to have people invite themselves.

Post # 8
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Yes– even my dentist! We want to keep the wedding small, with about 100-125 in attendance, but the current guest list is pushing 200. (That is also without my parents’ list). I need to be more cut-throat!

Post # 9
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

LOL – We have 75 invites. However, a lot of our mutual friends got cut from that list because obviously family and long time friends came first, rather than our drinking acquintances, etc. One woman, when she found out, ask how much it was per person and offered to pay double that as a gift to us in order to come to our wedding – seriously! People honestly dont understand limits on guest lists and perhaps not just budget, but personal preferences of people to keep the guest list down rather than a mass production or show of a wedding.

Post # 10
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

wow Ms Guava-tini thats pretty funny someone offered to pay to go to your wedding lol

Post # 11
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Yes, the security guard in the building where I work has been dropping <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>serious hints about coming to the wedding. He keeps telling me about other weddings he’s going to. I like him, but unfortunately, I can’t put him on the list.  Another blantant hint from a co-worker: “I had a dream I was at your wedding last night.”

Other people drop hints like, oh, September of this year? In a “it’s so strange I never got my invitation” tone of a voice.  With those people, I try to make the wedding sound very small and strange, like we are part of some unusual religion.

Post # 12
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

@MsDownwardDog – LOL, those are hilarious.

Post # 13
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yes! Even our real estate agent invited himself. LOL

Be careful though. Months ago a casual friend of a friend invited herself to our wedding then yesterday, I received an RSVP on our wedding website with her name on it! She’s going as someone’s ‘plus one’ when we didn’t even address the invite to say that he was allowed to bring a guest.

Post # 14
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

those with plus ones, I would be firm and not have them yikes!

 

 

I am having a very small group only 58 so I am not inviting colleagues; we see each other every day but we dont hang out I never met anyones significant others or kids except one and he moved; I am going to keep the boundaries

Post # 15
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I feel the same way. People hear through the grapevine that I’m engaged and they always say “I hope you plan on inviting me!”….what the? I haven’t seen you in years and you don’t even know my FI!

Post # 16
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

yeah my art teacher who i talk to all the time said so when is your wedding . then said ok I know i don’t have to worry about a present this year. But thats ok I was totally going to invite him and his wife lol.

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