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So in looking over the RSVPs I have received recently, I have come across the following things:
The "M________________" is not hard people!
* My parents filled it out thinking the "M" stood for "Mom & Dad"
* I had a childhood friend hold on to her RSVP for a month because she didn't know what the "M" stood for. (My brother also had to ask my mother)
I can't tell you how many people put only their first names!
Several of FI's family members put "nicknames" on their RSVP cards - I had one of them write down "Mr & Mrs LEE Smith" - Well no one w/ the name LEE was invited to the wedding - who the hell are you?!?!
Some people who were invited with a guest either didn't put down their guests name or didn't put anything (just their own name) but then checked off two meals - so I am assumiong you are bringing the guest? Or are you thinking you are going to be really hungry?
_______________________________
I did LOVE the fact that several of my RSVP cards had cute ittle messages written on them!
And I was smart enough to # each RSVP card on the back and keep a list w/ each guest and their corresponding RSVP # so I can figure out all the nicknames/lack of last names....
nope. I got one that simply had a red check on "accepts with pleasure" and the name was blank.
Why didnt we number the cards?
Hahahaa When my friend got married, I went over to help w/ her wedding invites and I # each of her RSVP cards as well and gave her a list w/ the names and #'s -- she thanked me later on for it!
Thank goodness we wrote the names in for our guest, but our RSVP's are like this:
2 seats have been reserved for
Mr & Mrs Guest
___ of 2 will attend
I have a feeling this isn't going to work out well & I'm going to have to end up making a lot of phone calls.
@MrsJKH2be That was a great idea to number the rsvps!
Funny I was confused by the M once too. Did the numbers help you figure out who Mr. & Mrs. Lee Smith are?
@LisaC - yes it did! I just looked up the # and checked who had that particuler #. It was FMIL's brother - I mentioned it to her and she said the only person who calls him "Lee" is his wife - guess who filled out the RSVP card?
the M thing makes no sense to heaps of people
My FIs dad is getting remarried and we got the invite and RSVP card recently
I went to fill it out (useless man can't do anything) ticked the box that we would be there and there would be 2 of us.
then there was the M thing
I gave up and put it down to do another day
Meanwhile my FI asked his dad, and my mum told me (my parents have also been invited) what it was for
I ended up using the M as the start of FIs name (his name starts with M lol)
I am literally putting:
We have reserved ___ seats. (already filled in by me)
Who's Coming: ______________________________________________
If people can't figure that out, I don't know what to do lol.
Being that I've been to multiple weddings I figure out what the M was. TBS, Mr.TKE still doesn't understand it and ALL of our RSVP's for our 6 (6!!) weddings this summer had the M. I explained it to him and I filled it out. On all of them (6!!!!!!) Mr.TKE and Ms.AXiD. Oh, boys!
One of the first weddings I went to had the "M" and I was like "what the heck" and I had to call my mom. That said, I was 23 and it was my first wedding as an adult. I am suprised at the number of people who don't know how to fill this out though-I mean by 50 years old you should have been to a few weddings!
Really, I think the time has come to give up on R.s.v.p. cards. The argument for their use is that people don't know how to write a proper R.s.v.p. and that the cards themselves can be stored in an index-card file as they come back to help in your organization. But let's face it: if people don't know how to fill out the form either it's no improvement; and no-one in the twenty-first century uses index-card files either. We use spreadsheets and databases.
Between texting, email and websites, there are lots of options that people who want convenience can use to get the word back to their hostess; and people who prefer elegance over convenience can still use pen-and-paper.
While it should be self explanatory, many people honestly do not know how to fill them out, especially if they are not frequently invited to events that use that type of rsvp.
The M is a French abbreviation for Monsieur or Madame and the rest of the title is not written out. Most people don't know that but they do know that RSVP is a French abbreviation for "reply promply, please". To avoid confusion, if you are making your own invites, skip the M line altogether and print out the names of the invited guests on the card. If you order your invites from any company, you are stuck with the M line.
On the same token, the same number of people also don't know how to put the cards in the mail and actually expect you to be a mindreader as to whether they are attending or not.
No, people do not know how to fill out RSVPs. I have had 3 come back with no name! One of which was my FI's aunt! Good thing I numberd them or I would have been in trouble!
I didnt do the "M" because I know people get confused I did
We have reserved ___ Seats
_ out of
Names
I am also numbering RSVPs I was telling my mom the other day and she was so confused that people do not fill them out correctly and some dont put names on.
I didn't do the M__________ either. I just did a line with (guests names) underneath it. People seemd to understand what to do.
I actually do keep mine in an index card box and double check my excel spreadsheet with them. sounds lame, but I'd rather be thorough, then miss have a seat and a meal for somebody.
Wow, I am super concerned now. I just sent out my invitations over the weekend and used the M______________, I did no #ing system...I guess I'll know for next time? Lol
@Charbirdie: Same here. Actually, they mail today, but I totally forgot to number them until I had about 5 left to seal....
Fingers crossed :-/
My RSVP deadline has come and gone and we're still waiting on a bunch, apparently not many people know that when you have an rsvp with a stamp it usually means to mail it. Also we have gotten a lot things with the M____ I like to read all the funny things, but right now i'm really not a fan of the people who didn't write their names at all, and the people who rsvp'd yes with a guest and never put the guests name down
I'm glad we're not the only ones who've had all these problems! My favorite was the blank name with a star drawn on the "accepts with pleasure" line...luckily we numbered, but this person had an "and guest" so fiance will have to call her to ask how many people are coming!
@mrskesslertobe: I have excel spreadsheets too!!
My father put down "Me and Ms. Sarah" on the M____ line, which we thought was hilarious. People whose names start with M have also been taking full advantage of the M____ line. As for the rest, apparently, despite the fact that they were mailed the cards with the postage already paid for, fully expect you to be mindreaders. Sigh.
I've just concluded that people are lazy and don't care. Really, if you're so confused you can:
-call me on the telephone
-send me an email
-send me a text message
-write me a message on facebook or post to my damn wall
-call my mother
-call my fi's mother
-LOOK IT UP ON THE DAMN INTERNET (seriously. google "M line on wedding RSVP" and google will tell you what to do.)
-consult an etiquette book
And yet ... we get crap like this. I've had trouble with mine coming back incorrectly and FI's family not really understanding how they work. This weekend he told me "if they send them back, it means they're coming, if they don't send them back, it means they're not coming."
Oh hellz to the no.
Ours went out like this:
The favour of a reply is requested by September 18th
M______________
____ of 2 attending
I numbered the backs of them to prevent the M line confusion, and what do my guests do? Leave the freaking number attending line blank. Now I have to call these people and there really isn't a nice way to say "are you coming or not, because you can't follow directions on an RSVP."
And then, FI tells me that he thinks they're outdated anyway and we should have done email RSVPs. Right, because your 85 year old grandmother is going to rsvp online.
I've *always* been considerate when filling out RSVPs -- I've filled them out promptly and correctly. If I can handle this, and I'm 27, why is it so difficult for his aunts and uncles?
ETA: And all of those people who have said "can't I just tell you I'm coming?"
No. No you may not.
I sent you a pre-addressed stamped envelope. You don't even have to take it to the post office, if you put it in your mailbox, the mailman will pick it up for you. Stoping being so damn lazy for once in your life. Argh.
we decided to forgo the M__________________ because i know people are clueless. We wrote Names__________________ accept or decline. we included meal choice with "initial each guests' dinner choice" and people still managed to screw that up.
since then I've been really good about rsvping!
Um, I read this entire thread and still don't know how to fill it out.
I am going to be "tacky" and request RSVP by phone/email/in person only.
@ Missrobots:
The M_____________ should be filled out like this:
Mr. & Mrs. Joe Shmoe
I think! lol or @ least that's how I do it.
Haha! I know right!
I eliminated the m issue by not using the traditional form. I put:
Names_______________________
lol.
my fiance's name is mark, so he looooves filling out "M_______" cards as "ark (last name)" because he thinks he's funny. at least they know who he is.
there will be no M______ on ours. we're going madlib style.
I HATE the M thing. I mean, I get it, but I hate it. I'm a doctor, and while I never use that title in my personal life, it bugs me when people MAKE me drop my title and use Ms. istead...and since the M confuses people anyway, it just seems better to replace it with (names)___________________
Luckily, I'll have few enough RSVP cards that I can just write in the names.
Seems like things should be easier than they are!
I think some people are just clueless/careless when it comes to weddings. Nevermind that they've been married themselves and had been through the process before. I will be putting "Names" instead of "M" on my RSVP cards to make it easier for the guests to understand. But I already know that short of teaching a mini-class on wedding etiquette, there is really nothing I can do to get them to respond correctly or timely.
For example, I sent out STD postcards with 4 lines on the card: (1) Our wedding date, (2) our names, (3) our wedding location, (4) and a note indicating that Formal Invitations were to Follow. Within a few days, I got text messages asking me when the wedding was and where it was located. I also got a text message, asking why RSVP instructions were not included with my invitation. And since instructions were not included, they were sending me a text to let me know they were coming.
There were 4 lines on a 5"x7" card. It was hard to miss, yet people still had questions. People are clueless and careless.
I have the "M" line on my response cards, and I am really regretting it. But, in the "M" line's defense, I think the problem is not just that. It's that people don't read what things say at all. I've had people ask me what my wedding website is (it's in the invitation), what time the ceremony starts (it's in the invitation), the name of the reception site (it's in the invitation), what the food choices are (it's in the invitation)...you get the idea. I feel like I should have taken out a billboard for each guests' front yard instead of printing all those invitations, LOL.
I figured that people don't get the M________ thing anymore, so we just went with (names)______________
But to prove there's no such thing as a fool-proof RSVP, even though everyone has written in their names, about a fifth of the cards have nothing checked for "will gladly attend" or "must sadly decline" But we have meal choices on the card too, so I guess I'm hoping that people didn't randomly select a meal if they aren't coming.
SO funny. Yeah I think maybe at one time many moons ago, I didn't know what M_________ was, but then look it up or ask! I got a blank RSVP card to a black tie wedding, so I looked up how to fill it out on the Interwebs. (Totally pretentious though, folks!) The checking 2 meals is hysterical! When you call to get the guest's name (Don't they realize we need that for escort cards? Unless they want the card to read: Guest of M____________), tell them you weren't sure if they were bringing a guest or just anticipating being really hungry.
This is what we did for ours, and we also numbered them :) No M because I HATE the M with a passion lol
This one tops the cake!
I received the ENVELOPE back (no RSVP enclosure card) and stuck to the ENVELOPE was a sticky note w/ his name and his meal choice.
FFIL dropped it off at our house because his brother didn't know what to do with the card......he threw away the card but kept the envelope?
@MrsJKH2be: That's hilarious - and empty envelope. Ha!
I did do the M______ thing, because my family is pretty traditional. I had no problems with it, although my one uncle did just put his first name (so it read M____"John"__); he's the only one with that name, has distinctive handwriting, and his return address was on it, so it wasn't hard to figure out who he was.
I was worried that just a blank line (with no "M" or "Name" desingation) would be confused for a "divider" between the "Kindly respond by date" section and the "accepting/declining" section, and that I'd get a ton of no-name cards. I guess if I had done two lines like @thefuturemrsherdt's example there, people may have caught on that it was for names, not a divider. Of course, then the singles may have thought the second line was for a +1, which they weren't getting.
So I guess I come down on the side of supporting the "M______"! lol
I did the M__________ as well. I kind of wish I did:
WHO ARE YOU:_________________________
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT:_______________________
WHO ARE YOU BRINGING (limit 1 per person):________________________
WHAT ARE THEY EATING?______________________________
Im sure someone would mess that up as well!!!!!
@pebble: Seriously, this is how all RSVP cards should look. LOL I love it....
FH and I were trying to figure out how to word ours, and he HATES traditional RSVP cards. So, ours are going to read:
Names: ____________________________________
Can we count you in?
___ Yes
___No
What would you like for dinner?
___Steak
___Vegetarian
___Kid’s Meal
Let us know by June 15.
You know, I must have gotten lucky. We had no RSVP card issues. They were all filled out properly for the most part & in the end, only 2 didn't get sent back by the RSVP date. I hear so many horror stories about RSVP cards that I expected to have similiar issues. Not so at all!
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