(Closed) Do people not understand Save the Dates?

posted 8 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
581 posts
Busy bee

Were they looking for the exact time of the wedding?  I can’t imagine what problem they have with your timetable for mailling your invitations.  Two months is fine, especially since you sent save the dates.  Silly friends.

Post # 4
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

People do NOT know what Save The Dates are for. They just don’t. After sending ours, I got the following responses from people:

“I got your invitation.”

“I got your announcement.”

“What is this card thingy?”

I’ve had to explain Save The Dates to about 5 people, who didn’t know what they had received from me. What? Seriously?

A few weeks ago, my dad actually called to lecture me because he realized that I hadn’t sent my invitations yet. I had just under 5 MONTHS to go! I told him when invitations are usually sent, and he practically yelled. “Jennifer! Your wedding is in Las Vegas! People need to know if they’re invited so that they can make travel plans!”  I said, “I sent Save The Dates!”  He says, “Those cards? Those don’t count.” UGH.  Suddenly, my dad is a wedding professional, apparently.

Post # 5
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Haha I’ve had this problem too and I haven’t even sent my Save the Dates out yet! I’m planning on sending them next week but I got on FB and asked some friends from uni for their addresses so I could mail them the save the dates and lots of them were like, “Cool! You’re sending out your invitations?!” I also neglected to put “Formal Invitations to Follow” on our STD’s so now I’m worried people are gonna freak out and think they are the invitations… but without times or anything on them. Grrrr!

Post # 6
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ugh, so irritating. One of my friends kept calling it a card for my gathering. “Can I bring my boyfriend to your gathering? Can he get a card?” “Can (name of our mutual friend) give you her address so she can get a card for your gathering?” First of all, it’s not a gathering, it’s my wedding and you know it. Second of all, it’s a save the date, or as some of my friends call it “remember the date” or “keep the date thingy.”


When my parents got theirs, they called me up, screaming, “THE PARENT’S NAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE INVITATION KRISTIN! THAT ‘S NOT RIGHT!” Sigh.

Post # 7
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You really can’t win (if winning means not confusing someone or hearing their unsolicited opinion). If you sent your invitations out early, I guarantee someone would say, “Why are you sending these? The wedding isn’t for 4 months! I’m just going to lose it and forget when it is.”

Post # 8
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We had STD magnets and i also sent a little note with them.

 It said: After a privite ceremony in the Bahamas Nick & Shellee are having a reception at the **** in *** On November 27th 2010. Please save the date! Formal invatations will be sent out in the Fall

FI’s grandmother called Future Mother-In-Law to ask what it was that she got……

Post # 9
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that many people aren’t clear on Save the Dates. Honestly, until I started planning my wedding I had NO IDEA that invitations went out so close to the wedding. I thought you were supposed to get them months and months in advance. Now I know better 🙂

I would just stick with your original plan and let people know that a Save the Date IS letting them know that they’re invited to the wedding. If they want more information(like times), maybe just let them know or direct them to your wedding website (if you have one).

Post # 10
16216 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Weird! We haven’t sent ours out yet, but I’m sure we’ll run into some of this craziness too.

Post # 11
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is why I saved the money and didn’t send Save-The-Date Cards.

Post # 12
690 posts
Busy bee

I just KNOW that these are the type of responses I’m going to get also!  I have a feeling that 99% of my guests will have no idea what a Save the Date is either!  Oh well, I really want one because I want an excuse to use engagement photos and to sent out a more ‘fun’ casual card.

Luckily a LOT of my guests will be my parents friends, and my mom seems to understand the concept of a save the date.  They can complain to her (or be confused to her) and she can explain it hehe.

Post # 13
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yeah, I’m not sure everyone quite understands the Save-The-Date Cards.  I had a friend, who I met for coffee last week, apologize that he hadn’t RSVPd yet, but that he wasn’t going to make it to our wedding.  All of this, when I haven’t sent invites yet – he’s a single dude and had no idea what the STD was.  Both of our Aunts also have had such confusion.  One sending us a gift already, with a note saying she’s sorry she’ll miss our day (which is super sweet, but I thought pre-mature because we haven’t sent Invites yet!) and the other called my mom wanting to know how she was supposed to RSVP.

I think because they’re a new-ish tradition that a lot of people aren’t totally clear on what they are.  I’d say the one mistake we made on ours was to not put “Formal Invitation To Follow” on it.  We figured because it screamed, Save the Date, that it was obvious – but not so.

Post # 15
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yikes! we haven’t sent ours just yet but i had no idea people didn’t “get it.” I know i will expect this now!!!

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