(Closed) Do people tell you, "Dont rush it, wait to get married, your to young"

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

People used to tell me All. The. Time. how I should wait until forever to get married. I wasn’t engaged yet and was SO tired of hearing it.

 

I’m 25 now, and people are asking me why I’m “waiting so long” to get married (FI and I got engaged in August and won’t have a wedding until next October).

 

Can’t win LOL.

Post # 5
Member
6209 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@FutureMrs.Spencer:  It happens to me all the time. We’ll be 23 & 24, and will have been together for over 6 years when we get married. I just ignore them

Post # 6
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@FutureMrs.Spencer:  I can see how it would be annoying but I guess people are just remembering when they were your age and imagining how crappy it would be to marry the person they were with at the time.

I am sooo glad I’m not marrying the person I was with when I was 23 lol. I was just out of university, in my first job… and just moving into my own apartment from my mom’s house. And dating a jerk. Thinking back I was way too immature to get married. I’m not *that* much older now (I’m 27), but a lot has happened in the past 4 years.

Just ignore them. I think that taking the high road as you have been shows you are mature 🙂

Post # 7
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If it makes you feel better, when I got engaged (I’m 27) my brother said “But aren’t you too young?” He was 27 when he got engaged and has been married for 7 years, after I pointed that out he was like oh yeah, right, great! I think sometimes its hard for peopke that you have known for a long time (especially older family members) to see you as your real age, and they still think of you as being like 12. Just be gracious and show your maturity though your actions.

Post # 8
Member
1353 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@lotto:  

YES! I see family friends, or FBIL (who is like 7-8 now) and I still see them as being toddlers. I think people just forget that you age and see you as a kid.

Your aunt probably forgets that you’re an adult capable of making life choices. She most likely thinks of you as a 14 year old that can’t decide what clothes to wear in the mornings.

Post # 10
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have the opposite problem. SO and I are both 23, been together for  a little over 2 years and I get asked a million times a week WHEN we are getting married. I’m the one having to say we don’t want to rush.

Post # 11
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Now that I’m 26, people are happy that I *finally* found someone. lol Just let it go when they make such comments.

Post # 12
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It happened to me all the time before my first marriage.  I was 21 and my then husband was 23.  Then we got divorced 5 years later… we were too young, among other things. 

And… now I say it to other people.  

I know for some people, it’s the right decision, and that’s great, but if the comment makes just one person think a little harder about not rushing into a marriage that may not be right, then it’s made a difference.  

Try and get to the heart of the commenter’s intent; are they saying this because they know you and your FI and they truly don’t think you should be getting married OR are they just saying that because that’s what older people say to younger people?  I bet most people are just saying that, but ask them a follow up question just in case they might be seeing something you aren’t.

Post # 13
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know EXACTLY what you mean! I will be 22 when I get married and sooo many people tell me I’m rushing everything and that I should be out living it up instead of getting married! My FI is 3 1/2 years older then me and we will be together for 6 years when we get married engaged for 18months and I get told I am rushing things… It just drives me up the walls! It usually comes from the people I dont expect it from…

 

Post # 15
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee

Someone online did once (not here), but that’s been it. Everyone I know has been really supportive about it all, which was really, really surprising.

It might be a cultural thing, but it might not. 

Post # 16
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

October 12, 2013~ A lot of October Brides lol

 
I’m 22
I hate it when people tell me that. (1) I don’t know what they expect to get out of their suggestion “Am I too young, I didn’t know that was your opinion! We’re calling it off today! Thanks for your support” (2) You don’t know me enough to judge where I am in life. (3) Mind-yo-business, help us celebrate or say nothing at all. (4) What makes you so smug to think you have the right to offer such an opinionated suggestion?

 

Thanks for the outlet 🙂

 

 

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