Post # 1
Okay, so this weekend was my bachelorette party. Most of the people there are not coming to the wedding (long story — small wedding, family only, far away, blah blah), but a couple of them got me little gifts. Just small tokens really — a picture frame, a pillar candle, two of them went in together on a $20 Target gift card. I thanked them all profusely at the time that I opened them, since I really was not expecting any gifts from people who aren’t even invited to the wedding!
I don’t know their home addresses, though I could probably at least get their email addresses. Question is, do I need to thank them again more than I already did in person for their gifts? I think I might feel weird if I was excessively thanked for a $5 or $10 gift (I’d be like, sheesh man, I was at Michael’s and it was on sale so I grabbed it, get over it already!), but others might feel differently! I was already planning to send an email to everyone who was at the party, thanking them for coming … could I just tuck a “and thanks again for the gifts and cards!” into that email?
Post # 3
Yes, you should always have a handwritten thank you for any gifts received regardless of their cost.
Post # 4
I, personally, do not think these gifts warrant a written, mailed thank you card. I agree that they are token gifts and you are covered with the verbal thank you (and maybe the mention in the email). I give these kinds of gifts all the time for dinner parties, nights out for birthdays, etc and never would expect a handwritten thank you card. A verbal acknowlegement is enough.
Post # 5
It’s about the thought behind the gifts than the cost of the gifts. Though not “required,” I think I would love to receive a hand written thank you note if I gave a gift.
Post # 6
I agree with the previous comment!
Post # 7
Any gift deserves a hand written thank you card. They went out of their way to get together and get you a gift the least you could do is go out of your way to say thank you.
Post # 8
Any time someone thinks enough to get you a gift (regardless of size/cost), you should think enough to give them a thank you card.
Post # 9
They definitely deserve a thank you card. You can try to find their addresses from common friends or whitepages.com.
Post # 10
Alright, looks like the votes are in that I should write out thank you notes! Luckily I see these gals fairly often so I should be able to hand-deliver them 🙂
I guess I’ve just taken enough ribbing along the lines of “wow, you ARE in bride mode, aren’t you?” that I didn’t want to get more from someone who thinks I’m silly for writing them a thank-you card for a picture frame! Then again, people love to accuse brides of being in bride mode no matter what. I think it’s a euphemism for bridezilla …
Post # 11
I’d rather be criticized for being overly-thankful than not thankful enough!
Post # 12
@Mars62312: Yes! By writing the notes, even if they weren’t expected, you win. (Actually, especially if they weren’t expected and come as a surprise.) You come across as classy and gracious, perhaps exceptionally so.
By not writing the thank you notes, you are in neutral territory at best, but there’s a risk you could really annoy someone – and out of all proportion to the size of the gift, too. If the gift-givers aren’t expecting thank you notes there’s no problem – but if someone is expecting one and they don’t get it, that can really upset people and sometimes they will nurse those wounds for a long, long time. Best to be safe and err on the side of “gracious and classy.”
Post # 13
i never wrote a hand written thank you card in my life until my bridal shower and then my wedding. i always say thank you in person, on the phone, whatever. anything else is being a little over the top IMO. it’s the same with everyone i know. in fact, the way i tend to thank my friends for something like a birthday gift besides saying thank you, is to get them a gift when their bday rolls around.
Post # 14
I don’t know about you but who doesn’t love an unexpected card. especially when someone is grateful for something you did… i just think it goes a long way – and more than just thanking them for the gift – thanking them for celebrating this special time in your life, etc is such a nice gesture.
Post # 15
I have a question about this too: If you say thank you in person, do you still need to send a card?
Post # 16
@SoupyCat: Yes. A gift should always be followed by a written thank you note.