(Closed) Do they love you more than you love them?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

im WAY more expressive and emotional and lovey than Darling Husband. Im very touchy feely (love holding hands, giving hugs, rub his hair when hes laying down) 

He is NOT like this at all lol. I have to be the first to hold his hand, im always the first to hug him randomly lol Dont get me wrong though; hes an AMAZING man and treats me like a queen!!! hes just not very expressive in the way girls are. He shows it with “the little things” bringing me my favorite drink home if he runs to the store, letting me pick movies on movie night, buying me something ive been wanting forever!, taking the dogs out at 3am to go pee lmao… just small stuff that really means alot to me 😀

Post # 4
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think there’s an episode of SATC about this…

Anyway, I would hope both people love each other equally, but my fiance shows his love a lot more outwardly than I do.

Post # 6
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

That seems kind of odd to me. My parents always told me to just find someone who loves me and treats me well, not necessarily someone who loves me more than I love him. I’m not sure what that means? I think my husband and I express love to each other pretty much evenly.

Post # 7
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would think that the ideal situation is that you both love each other equally

Post # 8
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think this was/is probably very good advice in previous generations/different cultures where women weren’t/aren’t fully equal partners in the relationship. In those circumstances, basically your only protection and bargaining chip would be your husband’s love for you. But if your ideal marriage is an equal partnership where both spouses have equal say in major decisions and equal power and so on, then I would hope that love would also be equal.

Post # 11
5165 posts
Bee Keeper

To be honest, this was quite often a conversation between my best guy friend and I when we were younger and not with our significant others….. We would always say to love them less because then you were in control! LOL! But its not until I found equal love, that I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life…. up until then it was a game 

Post # 12
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

“If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.” — W.H. Auden

Personally, I disagree with Auden. Obviously equal affection is the best scenario, but failing that I think I’d rather be loved more as opposed to the other way around. I don’t think it’s a good feeling to suspect that you love your partner more than he or she loves you! On the other hand, it’s not a good feeling to suspect that you don’t love your partner as much as you should. But between those two less-than-ideal situations, I’d probably pick the latter.

In long-term relationships, sometimes one person is more “on” than the other and then it can flip, and that’s normal. I certainly hope that we stay evenly matched over the long haul.

Post # 13
11395 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My husband & I love each other the same. We show it the same & express it the same. I wouldn’t want to be with someone I couldn’t love as much as they loved me. That would be sad.

Post # 14
812 posts
Busy bee

No, I am definately more thoughtful, romantic and loving than my SO. At times I do feel like he loves the idea of me (in that I have a well-paid job) but I could be anyone as long as I am willing to move to his area (which I did)

Post # 15
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I had to laugh when I saw this thread. My Fiance and I have had an “I love you more” war since almost the start. It’s cute and we don’t do it in front of people.


Plus I win 🙂

Post # 16
3782 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I say it more.  He shows it more.  But neither one of us loves the other more.

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