Post # 1
Calling the international bees,
I was born in the UK but my parents moved to the states when I was about 10. As a result I’ve got 2 sets of friends at about the same stage in their lives. Me and my SO have been together for 6 years and are the last couple in my ‘US’ group to be engaged (by quite some time) which as a result is making me impatient (although things are moving now so it’s not quite so bad!) by contrast, within the British friends hardly any are engaged although they are in similar length relationships. It’s something I’ve been noticing on the bee too, that the British brides tend to wait longer while the US brides get engaged and married quicker. Any one notice this or is it just me? Anyone care?? Lol
Post # 3
I think you’re right, well it certainly seems that way to me from the boards and my own experience and friend’s experiences.
I’m in the UK and we’ve been together for 9 years, we’re 30 and not many of our friends are married. I guess it depends on the relationship wherever you are but it def seems to me like UK brides wait longer!
I wonder why tho?! I think maybe a money thing and more people having children first perhaps. Pah, who knows, if I knew the answer I probably wouldn’t be in this position!!
Post # 4
Curious. I’d like to see some stastics on this sort of thing, if one group (Aussie/UK/Canadian/US for example) “waits” longer than the other. I wonder what the causes could be, if something like this proves to be true? Maybe a cultural thing, or perhaps the “standards” for raising someone? Hum.
Post # 5
We Dutchies wait longer too or never get married, it’s more accepted.
Post # 6
@Hyperventilate: I added a poll to maybe see if we could get some figures… (I love statistics! Haha loser I am!!)
Post # 7
I’m curious to see the results of the poll. I think that here in the US/Canada weddings are so fetichized which may explain why people tend to get married sooner.
Post # 8
@Wonderfully: I think analytically, so stats really interest me! Not a loser, at all.
I voted. For me, we started dating in May, proposal by October & married in December, so we were together 8 months before getting married. We’re also in the US, but we’re military as well, so there’s a small factor in that, too. (Health care, benefits, higher pay rate when married, etc.)
Post # 9
@Pinkrefresher: yes to the kids thing too. Actually what spurred me to write this was I was reading a post the other day where a uk ‘waiter’ was saying about her situation and her SO was dragging his feet but they had a child together. I noticed a lot of posts coming from the US saying he just doesn’t want to get married if they’re ‘set up’ as a family already. From what I hear from my uk friends I just don’t think that’s the case, British guys seem to just be a bit slow about wedding stuff!! Not because they don’t want to (get married) just it’s stopped being a priority? Or something. There’s a difference though.
Post # 10
I think this is true! I’ll compare myself (US) with my stepsiblings who are from the UK.
My DH and I were engaged after 2.5 years together and we got married at around the 4 year mark.
My stepbrother just proposed to his girlfriend at their 5 year anniversary and they won’t be getting married for another two years so they will have been together for 7 years before marriage.
My stepsister also recently got engaged and she has been dating her SO for around 5 years as well. They are also waiting a couple years before getting married.
Post # 11
There is no poll option for me but we got engaged after 7,5 years.
Post # 12
DH proposed to me after 21 months and we were married after 37 months. Not too long.
I think part of the reason that couples take longer to get married in the UK and some other countries than in the US is because there is less religious guilt about living together and having kids before getting married.
Post # 13
I’m UK and my friend got engaged at 2 years and everyone was like “too soon!! too soon!!”
We got engaged at 4 and a half, will be married at 5 and a half 🙂
Post # 14
What an interesting poll! My husband and I were together for about four and a half years before he proposed. We got married a few weeks before what would have been our six year “dating anniversary”. So, we might be a bit outside of the norm as far as US bees go.
Post # 15
I’m hoping to be engaged before our 3 year anniversary, but we will see! I am from the US, but I have several friends who dated over 10 years before getting engaged. I think many couples are getting engaged at older ages generally, but would be interested in seeing the stats!
Post # 16
I live in the UK and we got engaged on our third anniversary. We’d been leaving together for 20 months when he proposed. My FI is in his mid-thirties, but I’m 8 years younger.
I think it’s quite unusual for UK couples to get married within 3 years of meeting each other, maybe there is no taboo or social stigma surrounding premarital sex and cohabiting?
I know one couple who married 18 months after meeting, but they are the exception rather than the rule. They had already bought a house together before getting engaged, and both are in their mid-thirties.
This couple I work with recently got married after 5 months together. The general consensus in the office is that it’s a bad idea to get married so soon after meeting.