Do we ask guests to dress appropriately?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would make note of it on your wedding web site and also spread it by word of mouth.

Something like “The ceremony and reception will take place on the lawn with both grass and gravel terrain – select your footwear accordingly!” on the web site should do the trick.

Post # 3
458 posts
Helper bee

Your invite should speak for itself; if you say that it will be in your backyard (or probably a fancier way of saying the same thing), then they should know.  And word of mouth will be a good way for this too.  If someone shows up wearing heels (which they probably will, since there’s always one), then it’s their own fault and you shouldn’t be concerned about it.

Post # 4
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

SimpleCountryLife:  “casual attire”. You may get some people in jeans but at least your guests will be comfortable.

Post # 5
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We did a Q&A on our website with general questions… here is a list of questions we used :

About the Wedding


Q: What do I wear?


Q: Can I bring my kids?


Q: Is there handicap access?


Q: What is the weather like in October?


Q: Are there any pre or post-wedding activities?


Q: Will travel be required for the reception?


Q: Where do I park? Are there any parking fees?


Q: When are RSVPs due?


Hotel, Transportation & Accommodations


Q: I will need to fly in, where should I fly into?


Q: Where is the nearest hotel?


Q: Will there be transportation from the hotel to the venue provided?

Post # 6
1592 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe”The ceremony will take place on uneven terrain.  We understand and encourage sensible footware.”

Post # 7
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

SimpleCountryLife:  You can add the information to your website of you have one. You could also add an insert to give them the information you gave us.

Please choose your footwear to keep you safe in our yard and on the gravel surface of the reception tent.

Post # 8
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

SimpleCountryLife:  You don’t have to tell them what to wear. Just letting them know the location/terrain of you venue will be enough for them to make their own decision.

Post # 10
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I assume it’ll be warm weather, so I’d consider having a “flip flop” basket for your guests too.  Spread info by word of mouth and the website but for guests who didn’t know, it’d be nice to give them options for comfy flat shoes.

Post # 11
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

SimpleCountryLife:  I disagree that just because people know it’s in a backyard that does not automatically mean no floor. I’ve been to lots of tented events where they rented a floor for under the tent. Our Friends just had a backyard wedding and I thankfuly asked the bride because it was all on grass and I was planning on wearing heels! (I still did I just bought the caps for them and brought flip flops). If I were you I would have a basket of flip flops ready for people just in case! 

Post # 13
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

SimpleCountryLife:  well, you don’t need to buy a pair for everyone and you shouldn’t need to worry about the guys at all. Check clearance at Old Navy and the dollar stores. Especially now at the end of summer when everything should be discounted. If you have 300 guests, they probably wont all come. Half of them will be women. Some of them will be close friends and know to wear the right shoes. Some will probably be older ladies who’d be wearing sensible footwear anyways. Some will probably be children.  I think if you even had ~25 pairs of flip flops it’d be more than enough. (Of course make sure you give warning.)

 I’m mostly thinking about women who will be +1s at the wedding. When my fiance and I are invited to one of his friends weddings I usually don’t know much more details than when/where unless I look at the invitation myself.

Post # 14
1355 posts
Bumble bee

I went to a wedding that was basically in the dirt/mud and wasn’t warned enough.  I think I was wearing wedges and it was still miserable getting shoes I really liked dirty.  I would make it really clear on the website what the terrain is like.  Don’t tell them what to wear but make sure they are sufficiently warned. 

Post # 15
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

SimpleCountryLife:  Website or separate insert card included with the invite 🙂

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