Post # 1
I was talking to my family the other night about having a rehearsal and dinner at my FMIL’s house where our ceremony will take place. It will consist of My mom and dad, his mom and step dad, 3 ladies on the brides side, 2 guys on the grooms, and of course me, FI, and the officiant.
When I was trying to coordinate this with my family (who work all sorts of crazy hours but will do what it takes to be there for a rehearsal) my grandmother said “why do you need a rehearsal?”
uhmmm…. good point?
Our ceremony will be very short, maybe 10-15 minutes. we’re not having any readings or special ceremonies that anyone besides the bride groom officiant need to do or say anything for. We’re not having any specific music that you need to walk at a certain tempo to or start at a certain time..
I don’t want to go through the whole ceremony with all of them there because I want it to be a special thing for everyone, not something they heard the day before. And without reading through the whole thing we will just walk in, stand there for a second and practice walking back out. Not something it seems you need to practice.
We plan on giving I-O-U photo album cards to the parents, and gifts to the maids and men on the day of. So no need to get together just for gift giving.
Anyone not had a rehearsal? Did it go alright?
Post # 3
If you go over what little is expected of everyone beforehand, I think you can do without the rehearsal. Its basically meant for the more complicated ceremonies. I definitely had to do mine because the ceremony was so complex, even though it was only 20 minutes, but it was mainly due to the aisle being winding stairs then a winding path then a split canopy- confusing! When planning I wanted to save some money for my family by not doing it. However, it turned out to be a fun time. So, if you do it, it’ll really be for the purpose of hanging out together, before the actual event. And it doesn’t have to be formal at all. Pizza and drinks would work just as well as a formal sit down meal.
Post # 4
I had a really short ceremony too (10-15 minutes) but I still found the rehearsal to be useful. You don’t really go through the ceremony itself, it’s more so everyone knows where to be and when to walk.
Also, if you are prone to anxiety like me….It took a lot of weight off my shoulders knowing that we all knew where to be and what to do in those crazy moments before we walked down the aisle. Instead of frantically wondering “what am I supposed to do?” five minutes before the ceremony was set to start, I was instead thinking “LET’S GOOOO!”
Post # 5
We had a very short, simple ceremony but I still think its a good idea to do a rehearsal. The biggest thing for us, was letting everyone know where they should be, how fast they should walk up the aisle, where they should stand, etc… we ran thru it twice and I felt a lot better after doing it.
You dont have to have a dinner though. Or you could have everyone over for pizza or a BBQ.
Post # 6
I always assumed we’d have one (i thought it was just a thing you did.. like having a cake..)
I agree with you that for piece of mind (for everyone) it will be better to do a trial run.
Post # 7
I would just have a meeting with everyone the night before the explain things.
Post # 8
We had one that was short and simple, but for us it wasn’t really about rehearsing since everyone pretty much knew what to do. For us it was a chance for everyone to hang out and get to know each other. We kicked things off with cocktails for about an hour before. I made little nametags for everyone with their name and role in the wedding because while my husband and I knew everyone, for many of them it was their first time meeting. It sounds cheesy, but they loved it. We mingled, handed out gifts, and in general got to spend a lot of quality time with those most intimately involved in the wedding. The rehearsal worked out any kinks we had and then it was off to dinner and, well, more cocktails. It was really fun so I have to recommend it. It doesn’t have to be some big formal thing.
Post # 9
I think it’s a good idea regardless of how simple your ceremony is. It lets you work out any little issues that you might not have thought of beforehand and it lets people know when things are happening.
You don’t have to actually DO the whole ceremony but you need to know the order of events so you know when to get your rings from your wedding party and how you’re going to exit, etc. It just makes everything run smoother.
Post # 10
As far as I can make out, Jewish ceremonies never have rehearsals. And there doesn’t seem to be any excessive falling over our own feet in spite of that. 😉
Post # 11
@2dBride: my friend who had a jewish ceremony, had a rehearsal!!
anyways, to reduce anxiety I suggest a rehearsal, as others pointed out. You don’t want your groom freaking out with an anxiety attack beforehand/during ceremony…..at least that’s why I am for sure having one! He gets weird when he gets anxiety.
Post # 12
We are not having a rehearsal, mostly because we have to pay to have one at our venue and we don’t think it’s worth the cost. We will be having a groom’s dinner the night before and will fill everyone in on everything then. It’s pretty straight forward and most people have been in a wedding before so I think it will be just fine! Even if we did have a rehearsal, people could still do something wrong so it’s not like rehearsing will prevent anything out of order from happening!
Post # 13
we are having one because its a jewish ceremony and FI and his family are chinese and have never been to/seen a jewish ceremony and there are certain things that are different. our officiant will not be there though – our planner will run it.
i think its a good idea so everyone knows when to walk and where and how you’re pairing up your bridal party for the recessaional, stuff like that.
do i think its totally necessary and the wedding will be a mess without it? no.
Post # 14
You know I always planned on having a rehearsal/welcome dinner (we are including folks traveling from OOT) but you make a good point. Mine will most probably be 10 minutes long and my FI and I will be sharing our own written vows that I want to keep special for the next day anyway. But the others make excellent points too about people knowing where to sit/walk. But I think the dinner is a good way for people to get together and set the tone for the next 24 hours. One last hurrah before the big day. I think it’s good to have a dinner the day before the wedding but not necessarily a rehearsal.
Post # 15
@2dBride: thats absolutely right. My FI’s cousin is a rabbi and will be doing our ceremony. All of the family understands whats expected and what traditions go with a traditional jewish ceremony.