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I already cried...

Do we need to tell him he's not a groomsmen?

posted 2 years ago in Grooms/men
  •  
    1.
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    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    Albee    9/25/2010   St. Paul, MN

    My DF and I have a mutual friend from law school who assumes that he is going to be a groomsmen. He's made a few comments to my DF when they've seen each other the last two months--and my DF has tried to avoid these comments. We decided to have a family-only bridal party so my DF picked his 3 best friends that he's known for years to be ushers...and our mutual friend is not included.

    Here's the question...does my DF have to explicitly tell our mutual friend that he's not in the wedding? Or do you think eventually he'll figure it out? We don't want to hurt his feelings but unfortunately we can't have everyone in the wedding. Has anyone else dealt with something similar? Thanks!

     
    2.
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    Buzzing bee
    honeybun    June 5, 2010   VA

    When you say he assumes he is in it, do you mean he really already thinks that he's in it, or he just assumes he will be asked? If he already thinks he's in it, I would def. tell him. If he is just pretty sure he's going to be asked, well he'll figure it out when he never gets asked. Either way, if you explain the family-only bridal party, I'm sure he will understand. Good luck!

     
    3.
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    Newbee
    groomguru      

    I would let him know as well and I would be honest in regards to the fact that you're keeping the wedding small and had to make some very tough decisions.

     
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I would be a bit sneaky about it. have your fi mention something like "wow wedding planning is stressful... one of albee's friends was a bit upset she isn't a bridesmaid but we decided to do family only in the bridal party so hopefully she will get over it soon."

     
    5.
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    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    I agree with CorgiTales, have him slip it into conversation, I think that's the best way to go. 

     
    6.
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    Blushing bee
    Albee    9/25/2010   St. Paul, MN

    I like that, thanks!

     
    7.
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    Oooooh I like Corgitales suggestion! That sounds natural and yet "HEY! YOU'RE NOT EITHER"

     

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