Do we owe a second gift?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I have to send a gift?
    Yes, you got the invite therefore you send a gift. : (0 votes)
    Only if you really want to. : (16 votes)
    33 %
    No, one gift per wedding. : (30 votes)
    63 %
    Other... : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I don’t know what the true etiquette is, but I wouldn’t send a gift, personally, unless it was really close to them. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    renwoman:  I was going to say no, since you already sent them a wedding present to a wedding you weren’t even really invited to.

    However, you are absolutely free to send them a gift if you want to. I don’t think they’ll get angry at you for sending a second gift, but it’s totally you’re choice.

    Post # 4
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    renwoman:  In this case, I would send a lovely card.

    Post # 5
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee

    I agree with PPs. I would only send a card of congratulations. However, if you feel inclined to send another gift, i see no problem with that either!

    Totally up to you (:

    Post # 6
    Member
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    renwoman: Wait, they sent you a fake invitation to their wedding, never actually invited you, and now are hitting you up for a gift for their re-do?

    This is a trainwreck. And no, you are not obligated to send a gift. No one is ever obligated to send a gift, but you’re SUPER not obligated in this instance.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6510 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would just send/bring a card.

    Post # 8
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    You don’t “owe” anyone a single gift let alone two. If you’d like to get them something, feel free, but don’t do it just because you feel obligated. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7216 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You didn’t need to even send a gift to the first wedding that you couldn’t attend (and weren’t invited to), let alone the second. I would certainly not send a gift.

    Post # 10
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Sounds like a gift-grab. There’s no excuse to have a second wedding for the same marriage. I wouldn’t get a second gift and frankly, I wouldn’t indulge them in this stupidity. Some people have no shame.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Wait a minute, they sent marriage announcements but didn’t invite anyone to the ceremony.  Had a registry but eloped to Vegas, and now are having a “do-over” with another registry?  Hell no.  I wouldn’t have gotten a gift in the first place, and certainly wouldn’t buy them another.  If you do go to this party I would just bring a “congrats on still being married” card.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    renwoman:  This screams gift-grab to me.. very tacky. I have no issue with them having a re-do and throwing another party or wanting to celebrate the blessing with family and friends but to ask for more gifts is tasteless.

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