Post # 1
Happy new year!
My fiance and I are getting married about an hour and a half from where we live. It’s also about an hour and a half for just about all of our guests, excluding those who are coming in from other states.
It’s also about an hour and a half drive for our officiant and her husband. She’s a friend of a friend and she and her husband are planning on staying for the reception.
I’ve read that if a hotel stay is required, that we’re supposed to pay for our officiant’s hotel stay. Is this true? Because they live so far and because we’re going to need her for the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner the night before, as well as the following day for the wedding, is it expected that we put them up for two nights at the hotel?
Post # 3
I think it’s customary. I know FSIL did that, and FI and I will cover the hotel and some of the gas as well instead of a flat out “donation”.
Post # 4
Ettiqute would dictate yes! But I’d really just be honest and ask the officiant what they would prefer. Who knows, they may just want to sleep in their own bed, or they may prefer to stay in town and enjoy it.
We’re flying both our officiant and his wife down from Seattle to Sedona and paying for a hotel for 3 nights. He’s a family friend of the Groom and he’s married both of my FI’s sisters. So it means alot to us that he’s happy and really enjoys the end of the Family Trilogy
Post # 5
Thanks very much! I figured this would be the case. Just wanted to be doubly sure.
Post # 6
Let me toss this into the mix, too:
She’s an interfaith minister who isn’t affiliated with a church, as far as I know. Her fee for performing the service is $500, which — again, as far as I know — goes directly into her pocket. Couple that with the rehearsal dinner, the reception dinner (her husband, too), plus $130 per night for her hotel room for two nights, and that’s very quickly adding up.
She may be a person of the cloth, but she’s still a businesswoman and a vendor. I hate to sound cheap, but is it appropriate for me to try to negotiate a lower fee from her?