Post # 1
I don’t drink (hate the stuff!), nor does my fiance, his immediate family, or my immediate family. Come to think of it, neither of our extended families drink much at all–usually just wine at special dinners. We’re having a small wedding of 50 guests–only about 10-15 of which I would consider regular drinkers.
My problem is this: We’re on a budget, but a couple of my bridesmaids keep ranting to me about how I should be offering plenty of booze at the wedding or else it isn’t going to be fun and people will leave early. They also feel that our guests will be insulted if they see that we spent money on food, a good photographer, pretty decor, and a nicer wedding dress rather than on more booze for them to enjoy. (I’m artistic–decor, fashion, and photography are important to me, and I love food! I hate alcohol!)
Our venue won’t let us bring in our own booze or have a toonie bar. They are SUPER expensive – (the cheapest bottle of wine they have is $45). So, I was planning on having enough wine so that everyone gets two-three glasses as well as champagne for the toasts. If people want more than that, we’ll have a cash bar and they can drink more if they want to. That is all that we will be able to afford, unfortunately. But, my bridesmaids keep telling me that I should have an open bar…ugh. If I won the lottery I could!
My questions are: Are my bridesmaids right – is it rude to not serve tons of booze? Will guests leave early? Also, should we have to sacrifice the things that are important to us (food, photography, decor) just so we can offer more alcohol?
Post # 2
greenbee89: Not only is it not rude to not have tons of booze, it is perfectly fine to have a completely dry wedding. People might leave earlier than if they were drinking, but that’s a reflection on them, not you.
People who don’t drink should not be expected to serve alcohol any more than someone who doesn’t eat pork would serve bacon.
Post # 3
I hate the concept of a cash bar. But it sounds like if you’re serving wine and champagne, and most people do not drink, that should be plenty.
Post # 4
I would suggest doing one signature drink for those that may want to indulge.
Post # 5
I think what you’re planning on doing is very reasonable. Those who would like to drink will be able to have a few, and they can buy more if they want them.
You’re not obligated to provide enough alcohol for your guests to get smashed. They can do that on their own time. If you didn’t want to offer any alcohol, you could that, and it wouldn’t be rude.
I think you should stick with your original plan.
Post # 6
EVERYONE MUST GET DRUNK AT YOUR WEDDING NO EXCUSES 😉
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
dry weddings are fine.
just offering wine/champagne is fine too (although you might think of having beer too).
Cash bar is not okay. Ever.
Just do a consumption bar for wine and beer and then cover the cost at the end of the evening.
Post # 8
If your families don’t drink that much anyways, I wouldn’t expect them to leave any earlier than what they normally would.
Your BMs are being demanding, and not in a good way. If they want an open bar so bad, maybe they should offer to pay for it.
Post # 9
Your bridesmaids are being rude. It’s your wedding and most of your guests are not serious drinkers, so why go outside your budget or cut back on what you want for a handful of people?
I personally wouldn’t supply 2-3 glasses of wine pp if most guest don’t drink! That’s almost a bottle of wine pp Multiplied by 50 people! If they are concerned about the booze tell them to bring plenty of cash.
Post # 10
greenbee89: You’re going to have wine and a cash bar if people want anything else, that’s totally fine. People have the option of drinking as much as they can afford, your bridesmaids just don’t want to pay.
Post # 11
greenbee89: I like to have drinks, but I would not be offended at all if you didn’t have any alcohol or had the cash bar. Do what you want! Your bridesmaid can pay for all the alcohol she wants at her wedding.
Post # 12
I think you should do beer and wine option at least, no cash bar.
Post # 13
I grew up in a seriously conservative part of the Bible Belt. I have attended a ton of alcohol free weddings and receptions in church halls. You don’t need to serve it at all.
FWIW, I had a wedding of about 50. I ordered enough red and white for people to drink (I eastimated 3 glasses for every guest I knew drank and had too much), and I didn’t serve any other alcohol. It was fine.
Post # 14
I know that cash bars are considered “tacky” on here, but I would rather have the option of drinking than to be at a dry wedding where I can’t even buy a drink. I realize why it’s considered rude, because you’re inviting guests and then asking them to pay for things, but I would rather pay for my alcohol than to basically leave a wedding right after dinner.
I think that your beer and wine option is a good one, and then you can have the option of a cash bar for the rest for any guests who might want something different-that’s totally on them. I would let people know ahead of time though, because I know most people don’t carry a ton of cash on them.
My friends were just at a dry wedding last night. They said there was no dancing since nobody had any drinks or wanted to really get up and dance or do anything after dinner. I’ve never been to a dry wedding before (been to some with beer and wine option and cash bar) and so I was like, “What did you guys do after dinner then?” and they said essentially nothing. The guy ended up going to a concert with DH and me later on because he basically said there was no reason to stay.
I realize that you’re only worried about a few guests at your wedding who even drink, and I’m not at all saying you MUST have alcohol to have a great wedding, but you might want to think about plans for after dinner if you’re thinking about doing a dry wedding. Have some activities or find ways to get people involved.
Post # 15
I know people will disagree with me, but I think it’s totally fine to do a cash bar. we are only offering beer and soda. But in the Midwest, this is typical. Just as we cant expect wedding gifts from people, people shouldn’t expect anything as a guest. They are coming to the wedding to celebrate your marriage. Niw it is true that some may choose to leave early. But that’s on them, not you.