Post # 1
Question in the title. I really don’t want to send one, I am not feeling charitable towards these people for embarrassing my husband (they were his guests) by being so tacky and skanky by not even bringing a card, but I’ve heard that we should thank them for gracing us with their presence? Even though one of them was as annoying as hell in the evening and would NOT STOP VIOLENTLY YANKING ME ONTO THE DANCEFLOOR.
PLEASE NOTE: I did not expect or feel entitled to gifts (though I would personally NEVER show to a wedding/birthday/dinner party/retirement/whatever empty handed, EVER) but a card? Come on, it costs nothing and can mean so much if written with feeling.
PLEASE ALSO NOTE: I am having hell with my cramps today and cleverly decided to write my thank you cards in a foul mood. Not very smart and it’s brought on a rant I’ve been holding onto since the wedding. Please excuse the caps.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Demi-chan: If they traveled a great distance to attend your wedding then consider their travel expenses your gift and send them a thank you card for attending. Otherwise, no gift, no card, no thank you.
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Demi-chan: I didn’t in that case!
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
I did – about 10-20 people didn’t bring cards or gifts – because I wanted them to know it meant a lot to us that they were able to be there to support us on our wedding day. I think it’s the nice thing to do.
Post # 6
@Demi-chan: They should be thanking you for the hospitality.
You HAVE thanked them at least twice over. Verbally and personally when you spoke to each guest, and via your hospitality. Sending yet another thank you is not following the rules of the most polite society.
In fact polite guests will think you are fishing for a gift.
Post # 7
@Demi-chan: There is no need to send a thank you card unless they either gave you a gift or helped with the wedding. I personally would also send one to those who didn’t give a gift but traveled a distance to be there, but it’s not necessary.
Post # 8
I agree with @andielovesj. Don’t send a thank you card.
Post # 9
@Demi-chan: First, put down the pen so no one gets hurt. Second, unless they spent a great deal travelling and what not then no, you do not have to send them a thank you. We had so many guests at our wedding, and the gift/card list was the only way I could remember everyone that came to the wedding except for cross country guests.
Post # 10
I’m a pretty big fan of no gift, no thank you. The reception was their thank you for attending the ceremony!
Post # 11
I followed some advice on here making the point that the reception and the favor we gave (which was some pretty damn good fudge, I might add!) as the “thank you for coming.” The thank you notes were for guests who gave a gift/card/helped with the wedding, etc.
Post # 12
*hugs* I am sorry that you feel ranty and you are in pain. Maybe you can do the thank you cards when you feel better?
I would send thank you cards to anyone who attended your wedding, though I understand why you would not want to.
Post # 13
Yup, i did. I thanked them for coming and celebrating with us.
Post # 14
No. I would assume the reception is already considered their gift for attending your wedding, so I would only send thank-you notes to people who gave your something on top (card, gift, money, etc.)
Post # 15
I am going to send thank you cards to all those that attended including those that didnt give a gift.. we had a few people, who simply couldnt afford it, due to hard times and unemployment.
Now we had one person, who invited him self and bragged about he was going to give us some great monetary gift.. and he gave us $20. I am appreciative of anything I recieve, but don’t invite youself and your wife and be a braggard and give $20.. People crack me up.
Post # 16
I was raised that thank yous are for gifts. It would never occur to me to send a thank you to someone who didn’t bring a gift or a card. I assume you thanked them verbally for coming during the reception.