Do we still have to invite them?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite them?
    Yes : (14 votes)
    25 %
    No : (42 votes)
    75 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    It’s your fiance’s friend and you said he was hurt.

    I don’t care what Suzy etiquette says – you don’t invite someone that your FI is not comfortable with.  Period.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @Italiandoll:  I would, you sent him a STD.  And more than that maybe it will say to him that your FI isn’t mad that he quit and open communication between the two of them again.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @mchitt329:  With all due respect – that’s not for her to decide. It’s his co-worker, it’s his friend.  If he explicitly states “I dont want to invite him” which he did then it would be out of line for her to invite him anyway.

    I understand a STD was sent but the situation has changed, feelings have changed. STDs are not an ironclad contract.

     

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    7400 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @Italiandoll:  Has your FI tried to contact his friend? It kind of sounds like he is going through something and maybe could use a friend right now.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7197 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Italiandoll:  In fairness to this guy, quitting a job can be stressful, he might not have wanted to hang around. And now it’s only been 12 or so days since then, and Christmas is a busy time. Why should this guy contact your fiance? Your fiance is equally obliged to contact him, if he thinks contact is important.

    Before making a decision, I think your fiance should contact him.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    screw stds. things change I wouldn’t invite him 

    Post # 12
    Member
    5839 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Italiandoll:  Id be more worried that something is wrong in Friend’s life. I know FI is hurt, but I would ask him to put himself in Friend’s shoes. What went wrong for him to snap like that? Maybe there are other stressors in his life that would expalin his behavior.

    I would wait to send his invite. You can wait a month and see how things unfold then make the decision on what to do. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    872 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Italiandoll:  hmmmm…

    it sounds like the guy is a little bit of a tool so i want to vote not invite him.

    on the other hand, thinking about what i would do if my friend up and quit, i would have probably been the one to text first and say, “hey that was pretty intense, whats wrong, are you ok?” instead of being silent and waiting to get a text from the friend who is obviously having life troubles. have you asked your FI why he never said anything to him?

    I’m not saying he’s obligated. sometimes friendships just run their course. but I’m wondering if there is a reason he was set against texting him first.

    Post # 16
    Member
    872 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Italiandoll:  oh i gotcha, i understand a little bit better. yeah lame. don’t invite!

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