Post # 1
Months ago a wrote about a “friend” who pretty much invited herself and was talking and asking questions as if she were invited. We didn’t plan on inviting her, because we use the term”friend” loosely, and view her as a mutual person we know and like, but not enough to invite.
Well, she began dating someone who was invited, so we knew he’d be given a +1 for her.
They just broke up a week ago now, just as we’ve begun making out the invitations, and she’s still talking about coming to the wedding.
Do we just bite the bullet and invite her? She’s still friends with her ex, so I’m not worried about that. Now I’m just trying to figure out the easiest solution.
Post # 3
@BetterSherm: Sounds like you really don’t care for her much at all if inviting her is biting the bullet. So I say, “no” and I would personally correct her the next time she brought it up or wait for her to ask for her invitation and then explain. She may not stay “friends” after that if she thought she was close enough to you to be invited only to find out you didn’t feel the same. She’ll be embarrassed for sure.
Post # 4
It sounds like she starting talking about going to your wedding before she began dating the invited guy, and you didn’t shut her down then, so I think at this point, the only polite thing to do is invite her – you missed your chance to avoid inviting her awhile back.
Post # 5
It’s rude on HER part to assume she was invited to your wedding. Ultimately it is your call. She seems like a “meh” friend; ultimately it is up to you when deciding your guestlist. If she brings it up again, you can always demurely talk about guestlist constraints or that you guys are thinking of having a smaller wedding.
Post # 6
You definitely don’t have to invite her. I wouldn’t.
Post # 7
Did you do anything to downplay her inviting herself to the wedding, or to suggest that she would be invited? If you ever said anything about wanting her there, or “we can’t wait to celebrate with you” or any of that, I think you might be stuck.
Would you be willing to ask your invited friend if he would feel uncomfortable with her there? That might make it a bit easier to decide, if he would hate seeing her there (even if they remain friendly).
Post # 8
@abbie017: We never responded to her questions, trying to evade them. And she and her now ex are on the best of terms and still hang out together all the time.
Post # 9
Don’t invite her; though, if she and the ex are on good terms, maybe he’ll have her as his +1 anyhow.