Post # 1
I have 5 children from a previous marriage who live with me full-time and my Fiance has 2 that live with him part-time. We cannot decide if we want another child or not. The youngest just turned 5 and we are getting married next March. If we got prego right after wedding there would be a 6 1/2 year spread between the two youngest.
We are a very active family and we do enjoy being able to have time alone together, BUT we cant help feel that someone would be missing and we really want to experience having a baby together.
He will be 38 in Jan and I will be 35 next month. We could just say we have plenty of experiences to enjoy without having to share that one, but we do not want to say “if only” one day when it’s too late….
Post # 3
Only the two of you can make that decision for yourselves, but I would think that raising 7 children would be challenge enough for anyone.
It would be a “no” for me, but then again I had a tubal after my second child.
Post # 4
only you two can decide that. I’d personally go for it, you guys are both still young and I personally couldn’t imagine not having a child with my husband (if we could and wanted to!)
Post # 5
I surely wouldn’t, myself, because 8 children is about 6 beyond my limit, but that’s me.
If you both feel like it’s an experience you really want to share together (and I totally get that) and it’s feasible financially and emotionally, why not?
Post # 6
I think I would make a promise to discuss it 6 months to a year after the wedding. I don’t think its a bad idea at all, and I totally understand wanting a child that is “yours” together. I do think you should give yourself some time to settle into life together and then make your decision. You may feel differently after some time you may not, but this gives you a little time to feel more certain that you are making the right choice.
Post # 7
I have a 3yr old and Fiance has no children….we have our hands full as it (I am 37…he is 42)….we are having this discussion too.
Post # 8
Of course you two need to make the decision. Still, I would think about the effect of the new marriage on the children. Maybe you should wait a year or so to make sure everyone is properly adjusted before throwing another big change at them.
Post # 9
I have an 8 year old daughter, Darling Husband does not have any biological children (he will hopefully be able to adopt her soon). We are both 33. He reallllly wants to have more, but I’m of the opinion that I am TIRED. Dirty Delete is so independent right now, and we are just getting involved in activities with her…I just can’t imagine doing it again. Also, the age difference would be almost ten years when we are ready (renovating our house, building savings). But then some days I’m standing at a store staring at a onesie that says “My Little Black Dress” and crying.
It’s a hard decision.
Post # 10
If you can afford to put 7 kids through college, I don’t see any reason why you can’t put 8 through college. You are one brave woman having 5 kids. I couldn’t even master one but then again I still don’t have enough stability to put one kid through college as of yet. Rock on!
Post # 11
@Rusalka: lol. Thanks 🙂 I love having a big family 🙂
Post # 12
Personally, I dont’ want anymore! I have 3 & he has one daughter. HOWEVER, the Fiance does. I love him so much! So of course I want to give him the boy he wants so badly! My tubes have been tied though. I was also looking forward to alone time, that we will not have with a ready made family, after the now 6 year old & current baby moves out.
I think we will but I am not sure about the reversal or IVF, so basically it is probably going to be up to God.
This decision, is completely up to the 2 of you! Good luck!
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I give you major props for managing 7 already. I have a 14 year old son from a previous relationship. Mr. Lk and I have decided that we are content with having one child to raise. I just can’t see starting over again with diapers, waking up multiple times a night for feedings, tantrums, having to be constantly on guard to keep the LO safe, etc. We’re going to enjoy these years with DS and savor every moment, and then we’ll finally be able to enjoy the alone time and scheduling freedoms that most newlyweds get to have up front. While I do have passing moments where I think of what it would be like to share the experience of raising a LO with Mr. LK, we’re just past the point in life where doing so fits with our goals.